Perhaps I am not the person to comment on this, but I will anyway. Mostly I get great blog comments and the rest are spam. Rarely comments were misinterpetations of what I was saying or a need to argue about a different subject entirely. Those I have felt the need to comment on. Those commenters go away.
When I started blogging I found that some other survivor bloggers got harassing comments on their blogs, that they did not post and deleted. One suggested that one way to avoid some of that was to have a commenter have to be a member at wordpress in order to make comments. I did that. I also moderate all my commenters. I don’t want my readers finding objectionable comments when they visit here.
If someone doesn’t like me personally, doesn’t believe in childhood sexual abuse, repressed memories, flashbacks or Dissociative Identity Disorder; they really don’t belong here. And I won’t post their comments. I can’t imagine why they would bother being here. I can’t imagine why they would want to read and comment. I can’t imagine why they would go to other survivors’ blogs and make those kinds of comments and hurt someone’s feelings.
If someone is doing that on someone else’s blog, that is not okay. Diminishing or disbelieving survivors, even if you say you are one, is not okay. I decided to avoid any who do this.
I won’t go to someone else’s blog and leave nasty comments. I might not agree with someone, but they will be ignored by me.
There are some comments that I have decided I won’t respond to. I won’t respond and I will delete, these comments won’t even get posted to my blog. If someone wants to insult and judge and humiliate me; they will have to do it to an audience of one. They won’t get posted here. This is my healing space.
Kate Is Rising 
This has happened to me numerous times. I immediately delete as well. Good for you Kate!!
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Hi Butterfly,
I’m sorry that you have gone through that. It boggles my mind how someone could mistreat you. I know that this happens, I just can’t wrap my brain around the concept of hurting others just for kicks. Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
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I think that’s a wonderful policy. Every now and then there is someone who is genuinely ignorant rather than wanting to hurt, and on very rare occasions they can be educated, but that’s one in hundreds.
I was just thinking the other day about how strange the phenomenon of DID “denial” is. I wonder whether these folks just don’t believe that this is how we experience reality, or whether it would be more palatable if it had a different name. LIke if we suddenly started calling DID “McCluskie’s Galloping Hairball,” would it be easier for people to believe that our reality follows certain recognizable patterns? I don’t know *why* in the *world* anyone would make this up, any more than someone would make up, for example, being an alcoholic. Just because I’m not one doesn’t mean I don’t believe that some people can’t stop once they start, even though that experience is utterly foreign to me.
Anyway, you certainly don’t need those folks here.
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Hi David,
Yeah I agree. Thanks.
I agree, there might be some who are ignorant. I don’t know how to discern that. I’d like to give someone the benefit of a doubt, but have found myself in several incidents were I did that and regretted it.
I want to keep the focus of my blog primarily for me and not for educating others. If that is a side effect, great, that makes me very happy. I would have to say that is my secondary focus for my blog, but tend to ignore or avoid the kind of conflict that I have seen going around on some blogs lately. I do use the blog on my resource pages to help educate survivors and others and that is very important to me, just not my main focus. I like when someone who knows nothing about abuse issues and DID stops by and reads.
I think someone who has a blog that says DID doesn’t exist or all multiples should be like me, well those I have an issue with and I don’t want to engage on those topics with them here or there.
They’d probably want to know how in hell we caught hairball and declare that we had asked for it or done something to get it, like the clothes we wore or that we were sexually active as adults or weren’t, or were weak and susceptible and not trustworthy or safe to be around. But it would be nice if it was mostly accepted and people mostly understood the basic information about abuse, aftermath, and DID. Well, I can dream.
Alcoholism is something that is completely foreign to me. Mostly because I made choices, from an early age, to take care of my body and that overrode any desires or needs I may have had to push down the memories and aftermaths of abuse. It still is completely outside my experience and I am only able to accept alcholism as truth in an exercise of will. I don’t really understand it.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
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Good for you. It’s too bad that some people feel the need to be mean. Hope you don’t have anymore problems.
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Hi Ivory,
Thanks. I think it is important for me to have some boundaries on this topic. Boundaries are one of those difficult topics for me, but I am working on it.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
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Thankyou. Ironically, I’ve found your site through a similar awkward add on to the therapy blogging process. Based on having read just a few posts, I’m pretty sure I’ll be sticking around generally, but this post was particularly helpful in knowing how to cope/prevent/deal with issues.
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Okay. I have to say I went to your blog and read the most recent post, like the title a lot. Lol. I am looking forward to checking out your blog some more.
So sorry you went through this. Some of the most wonderful people I know go through this. I get a lot of views on some of my resource pages from sex offenders just looking for a thrill. They won’t get one there. I can tell from the search terms they put into the search engine to find my blog. The resource pages are for survivors of child sexual abuse and I have nothing that they would want on my blog or at links that I have on my blog.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
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Kate,
Thanks for posting about this issue. I’ve already encountered these kind of commenters on my blog. I had one recently from a person who vaguely acknowledges she abused her daughter, offering her opinion to me on stopping contact with my mother after her own daughter stopped contact.
Thanks for making your blog the safe place that it is- for you and for other survivors. I strive to do the same.
Take good care,
Brittany
http://www.butterflyclosures.com
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Hi Brittany,
I am sorry you went through that. I can’t imagine a survivor wanting or seeking advice from a sex offender. Again, I’m sorry this happened.
Thanks for having your blog. I love going there. Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
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I’m reading through a few survivor blogs, because it’s helpful and all, and I wish I could let everybody know how much their words help. But I try not to comment on every single post, because I know that I will probably say something offensive that I didn’t know about beforehand.
Sorry in advance, and thanks in general.
Also, that’s really creepy about the resource page thing.
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Hi,
I’m glad it helps. I’m glad you are here. Feel free to comment on my blog as much as you want, for each of my posts, if you want. You haven’t said anything offensive. I worry sometimes I will insult someone, when I am trying to be supportive. I hate that. Don’t worry. It is okay to try to say what you are feeling and thinking. You don’t have to be perfect here.
Yes that is really creepy. I tend to get sickened when a search from a sex offender ends up on my blog.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
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