Survivor Resource Pages (Forty pages of resources, non-profit organizations, articles, and healing support for survivors of child sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, and dealing with the aftermath of child sexual abuse.)
SASIAN: Sibling Abuse Survivors Information and Advocacy Network
SOSSA: Speaking Out On Sibling Sexual Abuse
Sibling Sexual Abuse: Information for Adults Abused as Children
Sibling Incest (Research & Advocacy Digest)
Sibling Sexual Abuse: An Emerging Awareness of an Ignored Childhood Trauma
Myths About Sibling Sexual Abuse
Effects on Victim of Sibling Sexual Abuse
Sibling Sexual Violence Resources (Clinical Articles)
Dealing with Child-on-Child Sex Abuse Not One Size Fits All
The Prevalence of Sibling Sexual Abuse and the Need to Address the Problem
Healing from Child Sexual Abuse
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Disclosing Abuse and Common Responses to Disclosures
Risk Factors/Effects of Sibling Incest Part 1
Risk Factors/Effects of Sibling Incest Part 2
Risk Factors/Effects of Sibling Incest Part 3
Profile of a Perpetrator of Sibling Sexual Abuse
Sibling Sexual Abuse and Incest During Childhood
Sibling Abuse– Children Abusing Other Children
Responses to Sibling Sexual Abuse: As Harmful as the Abuse Itself
Recognizing Sibling Sexual Abuse
Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Parent’s Guide
Not Child’s Play: An Anthology on Brother-Sister Incest by Risa Shaw
Brother-Sister Sexual Abuse: It Happens, It Hurts: A Guide for Sister Survivors by Autumn Cole
Perilous Rivalry: When Siblings Become Abusive by Vernon R. Wiehe withTheresa Herring. (Lexington, MA: Lexington Books, 1991.
Brothers and Sisters: How They Shape Our Lives by Jane Mersky Leder. (St. Martins Press.) Chapter 10, “Sibling Incest: Dispelling the Myth of Mutuality.”
When Children Molest Children by Carolyn Cunningham and Kee MacFarlane. Orwell, Vt: Safer Society Press.
I am married to a man who is 67 years old now. He has told me that when he was 5 his mother was renting a lake house for the summer and she put him in bed with his older sister who was just shy of 13, and a younger sister who was 4 years old. He then told me they (13 yr old) spent the summer fondling each other at night. We have each been to therapy since we are both divorced, and he claims his therapist said that this is very normal and not a big deal. My husband then told me that his family stopped seeing an uncle and their kids because they found out something happened to this 13 year old girl. (the older sister of my husband) My issue now is that my husband laughingly refers to this situation as his older sister “seducing” him. He has said this to my children , who are adults over 25, but they have responded in bewilderment. We are having arguments over this as he sees it as no big deal, and I see it as something he can’t deal with. The 4 yr old sister, who is now 65, says that her older sister was just trying to “get a jump on her sex life” and I am appalled at this kind of talk. My husband claims I have the problem…..Any thoughts or help for me, please…? Am I blowing this out of proportion???? Deborah in Canton, Ct.
First, no you are not blowing this out of proportion. First and foremost this is sibling sexual abuse, from what you shared, and I understand the hesitancy by your husband and his younger sister to call it what it was. No this was not a seduction. I have a sibling who was sexually abused by an older sibling as well and she is confused at best at what happened and what did not happen, her use of certain words are disturbing, to say the least, and appalling and disgusting at worst. The same sibling sexually abused me as well and in no way and at no time did I believe that he was seducing me or that it was no big deal or not problematic. It was and it still impacts me. It impacts my sister, whether or not she chooses to admit to it or not.
If a therapist said that, he needs to find another therapist, one who is competent and knowledgeable about clients with trauma and sexual abuse in their childhood.
Convincing someone else to seek survivor therapy is usually frustrating and difficult. My sister refuses to do so and continues with her campaign of damage and abuse of others. So I will suggest that you do some therapy if you are so inclined and/or read some books. There are some stories in The Courage to Heal on sibling sexual abuse. There are several books on the topic, though I am not sure which ones directly would address the type of abuse he experienced. I will look through the information that I have and write again if I find something that I think might be directing relating to what you are experiencing.
Good and healing thoughts to you and your family.