“Tears are a river that takes you somewhere… Tears lifts your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace better.”
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes
At the football game this past weekend.
Me: I hate that guy.
(Pointing at a football quarterback who is dumb, sexist, a part of jock culture, endorses jock culture, a priviledged rich, spoiled, white guy, and who gets free advertising for companies that he partly owns or owns franchise stores by pretending he doesn’t and saying he is really going to drink a beer or some other crap while being interviewed so he can create buzz and sell his crap.)
Before I get to explain why or get asked why I find this guy so offensive I get interrupted.
Brother: Well he hates you too.
Me: Good. Then I feel totally validated in hating him.
“People think you’re crazy if you talk about things they don’t understand.”
~ Elvis Presley
Feel free to replace the word “stuff” in this post title with the words shit or crap, cause that is the quality of what some of them say to me.
Since I don’t see some members of my family much I am not so much surprised that they don’t know me, don’t believe me when I say something, and don’t exhibit in any way any compassion, understanding, care, love, etc. on and on. But I am still surprised, just not so much anymore. After all they did grow up in the same home as I had and if they had, and had cared about me or listened to anything that I did or that happened to me, they would remember and know all the things that they apparently can’t be bothered with.
They don’t know me. They don’t get me. They don’t exhibit love and compassion in their energy, words, or actions. Truly that does still boggle my mind. Because after all I’m exceptional. :)
Recently I saw a few of them and, of course, they did not disappoint my expectations of them.
Me: A statement about how bad my ear health is and how sensitive my ears have been.
My brother: Well if that were true, you would have very bad and sensitive ears.
Me: Yes. Yes I do.
This is someone who hugs me hello and goodbye and who says he loves me.
I seriously think sometimes that they never knew me and really acting as though I am being dramatic or hyperbolic instead of being me and being honest. I just don’t know where the hell this shit that they say comes from.
I wonder where he was when I had all those ear infections as an adult and as a little child. Some times he was right in the same room with me. They really make me shake my head and wonder where they were and what they were thinking and how little did they care and love me.
“Some people will never understand the kind of superpower it takes for some people to just walk out the door. ”
~ Andrea Gibson
“Do not confuse my bad days as a sign of weakness. Those are actually the days I am fighting my hardest. “
“The future depends on what we do in the present.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi
“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.”
Henry David Thoreau