Healing Poems 205

April 5, 1974

The air was soft, the ground still cold.
In the dull pasture where I strolled
Was something I could not believe.
Dead grass appeared to slide and heave,
Though still too frozen-flat to stir,
And rocks to twitch, and all to blur.
What was this rippling of the land?
Was matter getting out of hand
And making free with natural law?
I stopped and blinked, and then I saw
A fact as eerie as a dream,
There was a subtle flood of steam
Moving upon the face of things.
It came from standing pools and springs
And what of snow was still around;
It came of winter’s giving ground
So that the freeze was coming out,
As when a set mind, blessed by doubt,
Relaxes into mother-wit.
Flowers, I said, will come of it.

~ Richard Wilbur

Healing Quotes Littles 460

“Peace is always beautiful.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

A New Pharmacy

Last month, after threatening to transfer to another pharmacy for at least the last 18 months, I finally did. And it has been freaking awesome!

My previous pharmacy, at Walgreens, was problematic and sometimes abusive towards me, especially since moving downtown almost two years ago. The problems started long before that. I would have my prescriptions sent digitally to the pharmacy and arrive more than an hour later, only for them to claim that they have not arrived and/or that they had not been filled, asked if I wanted to come back in two days, even when it was antibiotics and very important meds, yeah no I want them right now, so I would have to sit there for about twenty minutes.

Since moving downtown I had problems getting my meds filled each month. They would never be ready. I would get an argument from staff, they would try to boss me around, and when I would refuse to be bossed around, and ask for them to fix the problem, they would read out my prescriptions at the top of their voice, so that everyone in an area of ten feet could hear what my private medications were. And not only that, I was getting generic meds but they would read out the brand name so that everyone who heard it would know exactly what meds I was getting. My meds are by right my privacy and should not ever be used in an attempt to shame or humiliate me or to get my compliance. I would insist on speaking to the pharmacist and she would be okay, but not answer my questions why these issues are on-going every month.

One time they only filled one prescription when I went to pick them up. The guy behind the counter insisted that he did not know why the other one was not filled, but first I had to pay for the first med and then they would find out about the other med. I had to insist several times that I would not do what he wanted, but rather would get an answer about my second prescription first and insisted on speaking to the pharmacist for the answer. Before he complied he read aloud my medications to everyone in the pharmacy area.

Then I started getting happy and healthy phone robo-calls, attempting to sell me more products, I can only assume. They would wake me up in the mornings, this does not facilitate my happiness and healthiness. I think you can guess what they facilitated.

I would call insisting they stop calling me, they still call me wondering why I am not filling my prescriptions there. I moved to another pharmacy and don’t owe them an explanation. I only gave them my real phone number because of their continued inability to fill two prescriptions a month accurately and in a timely and correct manner. I hated them. I hate them still. I hate Walgreen’s pharmacy staff. Their conduct deserves all the bad feelings I have towards them.

So you can see why I really wanted to find somewhere else to go, to buy my prescriptions. I didn’t try to find somewhere else for so long, because I had gone to several different pharmacies over the years and hadn’t found a decent place in the last 15 years or so, since a small chain that I used to like going to went out of business. So it had been some time since I had felt that I was being treated well and with respect by a pharmacy and their staff. But Walgreens has really been the very, very worst that I have ever had.

So last month I took my prescriptions by hand to a new place. And it was bizarre, I was treated with kindness, gentleness, and respect. The pharmacist spoke to me because the counter person was busy with other clients. That has never happened to me. She answered all my questions. The other employee was likewise kind, gentle, and respectful on getting my prescription bag and ringing them up. (It almost made me cry.) This is a new and unique experience to me. I could really get used to it.

Healing Poems 204

The Cows at Night

The moon was like a full cup tonight,
too heavy, and sank in the mist
soon after dark, leaving for light

faint stars and the silver leaves
of milkweed beside the road,
gleaming before my car.

Yet I like driving at night
in summer and in Vermont:
the brown road through the mist

of mountain-dark, among farms
so quiet, and the roadside willows
opening out where I saw

the cows. Always a shock
to remember them there, those
great breathings close in the dark.

I stopped, and took my flashlight
to the pasture fence. They turned
to me where they lay, sad

and beautiful faces in the dark,
and I counted them-forty
near and far in the pasture,

turning to me, sad and beautiful
like girls very long ago
who were innocent, and sad

because they were innocent,
and beautiful because they were
sad. I switched off my light.

But I did not want to go,
not yet, nor knew what to do
if I should stay, for how

in that great darkness could I explain
anything, anything at all.
I stood by the fence. And then

very gently it began to rain.

~ Hayden Carruth

Healing Quotes Littles 459

“We’re all golden sunflowers inside.”
~ Allen Ginsberg