New Therapist

I’ve got a new therapist and I really think she is competent to handle me, which is saying a lot. I have seen her three times already.  She has shown me that she is competent to handle me, capable, and willing. She is very good at being a witness to my healing therapy while being present, compassionate, and empathetic.  Those are all huge things.

I will say that I was at the point of being able to articulate in excruciating detail exactly what I did and did not want in a therapist and in therapy and in healing. I had a long talk with the person who was going to re-assign me to another therapist. So that has gone a long way in getting me assigned as her client. She is another therapist in the office where I was going.

I’m glad that I don’t have to go out on my own and try to find another therapist entirely on my own and especially glad that I don’t have that project looming in my life right now, even if it were only to find another therapist in the same clinic. I don’t have a lot of energy for projects right now.

I had some real issues with the other therapist, to the point of avoiding going to therapy for six months. I went in one more time, and seriously I was not capable of making it work, and really why should I have to be the one who had to try to make it work? I think the partnership proved to be a bad fit, untherapeutic. She was very good at helping clients manage the everyday manageability of their lives, but that was not my situation and I was clear about that constantly. She made it hard for me to work on my stated  and agreed upon therapy goals and needs of healing from childhood abuse, especially mother daughter sexual abuse.

The clinic will only allow me to get an appointment every other week, so that is very frustrating. It is a county mental health clinic, so it has a lot of clients and they decide those issues, even though I disagree on that.  But I suppose I would need some time to transition into doing therapy once a week.  The nicest part of that is that I don’t have to pay the co-pay, since the county declines to charge me, about $50 or more a month, so that makes it well worth my wanting to stay there, Also I have not found a better therapist on my own. She promised to help me find a weekly therapist, when and if I want to move on.

I have spent most of the sessions going over my family history and abuse history as background, but I am doing a lot of healing work through talking and feeling about all of that. It is very intense. And very healing. I am doing good work.

Good and healing thoughts to you all.

Healing Quotes 812

“Life is much more interesting when you make a bit of effort.”

~ Ai Weiwei, “Ai Weiwei: Never Forget.”

Healing Quotes 809

“No matter how dark the day, it always seems so much brighter when there’s a dog around.”

~ @MotherNatureNetwork

The Shadow of Mercury in Retrograde

So I figured out there is a fore-shadow for a few weeks before mercury goes into retrograde. Yeah lucky me. 🙂  I’m particularly, negatively sensitive to those times of the year when mercury is in retrograde. I learned of this when I decided to move out of state about ten years ago. To those of you who don’t believe planets’ movements around the solar system can negatively impact you, you are probably not susceptible to these negative influences, and congratulations to you.

I read recently that mercury is in retrograde 19% of the year, so yeah it is something you have to deal with and manage, if it effects\affects you. I learned that there is a shadow that can start a few weeks in advance and that it can fore-shadow the kind of impact of the coming retrograde.

So my refrigerator stopped working over the weekend. I was happy to get another used one on Monday from the apartment workers.

So I will try to be extra gentle with myself and take good care of myself. And I will try to delay making any major changes in my life during the retrogrades. I just don’t need to make that level of bad decisions anymore. Life is better when I can accept what my life is like without judging or doubting it all, in every area of my life.  🙂

Good and healing thoughts to you.

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Happy New Year

Happy new year my dear blog readers.

I went to bed very early on new year’s eve and found myself awake and refreshed at midnight. So I guess the universe wanted me to be there and aware.

After a few hours I decided to grab a pizza and watched the movie Frozen. There are so many parts of the movie that remind me of my childhood; I teared up a few times. Still had a great time.

I was looking around online for the show The Alienist on tnn. Bizarrely I found it available, with commercials, on their app. I thought for sure I couldn’t find it without extra cost.

I loved the book so much when it first came out. I never met anyone else who had even read it. I was hoping the series would be as good. I didn’t think so. But the series did show a lot of evil; in the killer, the politicians, the dirty cops, the millionaire businessmen, the pimps, and every casual observer in the streets who see and do nothing.

Shockingly I still had great fun bingeing the show and alternated with watching the parts of the Rose Parade that I wanted to with the sound on. I hate parade commentary. I love bands and thought the bands were great.  🙂

I was falling asleep trying to finish the last episode. But did it. I was so tired out from the huge focused session and because I had been awake 14 hours. So I went to bed and sleeping time. All in all, a good day and a great start to a new year.

Good and healing thoughts to you all.