I Would Kiss You, But You’re Too Vapid

Lol.

I was talking with my friend Eric on the phone recently. He reminded me of the phrase, I would kiss you, but you’re too vapid. I had said it.

He was visiting last summer. We had a great lunch, at one of my favorite places. Then we walked over to the nearby lake. We were sitting out by the lake on the grass. It was a lovely day. Lots of people were coming and going around the area. We sat in the shade and talked. He did some reiki healing work on me and we talked some more.

The phrase is funny, I have to admit, even taken out of context. I was talking about some guy, sorry I can’t remember what guy I was referring to. Lol. But right when I said it a couple were walking by behind me and overheard what I said.

Eric wanted them to know, I wasn’t saying it about him. No, I wasn’t. Lol. Really, very nice strangers, he is a nice guy. Yes, really, someone well worth kissing.

No, he’s not vapid. If he was we couldn’t be friends. If he was vapid, he wouldn’t want me. If he was vapid, I couldn’t make a friendship with him. I like my men tasty.

I talk like that, really I do, but remembering it only made me laugh and think for several hours of summer. That was excellent.

Paths of Healing 1

Essential Oils:

AromaWeb

What is Aromatherapy

Essential Oil Safety Information

Essential Oils Guide

Essential Oils Guide: Aromatherapy Essential Oils

What Are Carrier Oils?

Aromatic Blending

Therapeutic Blending

Aromatherapy and Oil Diffusers

Aromatherapy for Emotional Well-Being

Aromatherapy and Insomnia

Essential Oils for the Mind

Essential Oils for the Body

Essential Oils for Spirituality (Includes Suggestions of Oils for Grounding, Cleansing, Gratitude, Grief)

Meditating With Essential Oils

Praying With Essential Oils

Essential Oils to Cleanse, Purify, and Combat Negativity

Smudging:

Smudging

Native American Smudging Rituals

Reiki:

The International Center for Reiki

What is Reiki?

How Does Reiki Heal?

Reiki and the Healing Drum

Distant Healing and Human Etheric Field

Reiki and the Shadow Self

Crystals and Stones:

Crystals and Gemstones (Including a Listing of Uses)

Crystal Dictionary of Metaphysical Meanings

Animal Totems/Guides:

Animal Totems

How to Find Your Animal Totem

Finding Your Totem Animal

Discovering Your Animal Totems

Introduction to Animal Guides

Spirit Guides:

How to Meet Your Spirit Guides

Drumming:

Why is Drumming Healing?

The Physical and Emotional Effects of Drumming

Spirit of Drummers: Drummers Speak on Drumming

What is a Drum Jouney?

What is a Community Drum Circle?

Meditation:

Mudras: Meditation in Your Hands

Dance:

Finding Relationship to Rhythm

Dancing to a Different Drum

An Interview with Gabrielle Roth

Mine is a Dancing Path (Interview with Gabrielle Roth)

The 5 Rythyms Video by Gabrielle Roth

Five States and in my New Place

After five grueling states, here I am, late at night, at my new home. So tired out and in a lot of pain. Hope to be feeling better soon. Forgot to do Reiki for a few days, but did it Sunday and Monday.  All the demands of packing, the stress of trying to get everything done the last few weeks before moving, the money stresses, the hundreds of miles over roads and highways have all taken their toll. Got glutened a few times and so very unhappy about the elevation change, which is playing havoc with my ears and throat. But no tears for leaving my hometown. If I was in better health and could work and do so much more there I would miss it more. But I couldn’t, I can’t, and so I don’t, at least not yet.

It will take me some time to get used to. I am just so tired. I have been this tired the last four nights, without much sleep happening. I will try in a bit to catch some zzzzs.

With the light of day we will be moving boxes in the house and into my bedroom. And then the fascinating work of returning the truck to the rental place. Fascinating. Live long and prosper all.

Final Karuna Reiki Class

On Saturday I did the first day of my final class in Karuna Reiki. (One more day to finish the class.) I have been waiting to do this class for over a year. Looking forward to it finally being over and done with and then  I’m planning on making some big choices in my life.

The class was wonderful. It went great. Very powerful and very healing. But also very stressful, very physically demanding and very difficult to stay focused and work on the class due to body pain and injury issues.

I had such a great time. So good to be around other Reiki people, as they are some of the best, well meaning people. This class was one of the most peaceful, calm and deep class experiences I have ever had. And most Reiki classes have been exceptionally healing, this one even more so.

A lot happened in the class and I feel a lot of healing working on me, especially around issues of abuse and emotions. I feel more calm and more grounded this past week than I have in a really long time. I feel as though I am walking into the rest of my life and this class is a big part of that transition.

I got home last night after midnight and was so tired out. I wanted to write some things but found myself falling asleep at my computer chair over and over, so dragged myself off to bed. Still tired out and trying to be gentle with myself today.

I will try to do a survivor healing post later this evening. Good and healing thoughts to you all.

A Reiki Story

I know sometimes it is hard to see if alternative health methods work. Sometimes alternative health methods can take time for the results to appear. Sometimes it can be slow. Sometimes it can be dramatic. I wanted to tell a Reiki story about something that happened to me last year.

We need to go back a bit in time for me to explain. About six years ago I was in a therapy program called DBT, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

Therapists and a clinic both refused to see me, even though at the time I was very functional and had never been in-patient, was not addictive in any unhealthy behaviors, was not suicidal and was not cutting or doing any other dangerous behaviors in my life. I was multiple and I was a ritual abuse survivor and so I could not find a competent, experienced therapist at the time who would take me as a client, unless I went to DBT first.

The therapist that I saw was supposedly competent in my abuse history. My insurance company referred me to her.  

She knew that I was a survivor of mother daughter sexual abuse and ritual abuse. She knew that I was multiple. She and my insurance company claimed that she had had many clients with those abuse histories and that she was a good therapist for me to see.

The therapist also ran the once a week DBT class. As a college student in my last semester of college at the time, I did not think that she was a good teacher. In college professors you pretty much see the good, the bad, and the ugly. She was the ugly.

She emotionally abused clients during class time. She would repeat things that they had said in a way that was not kind. She would often change her tone of voice when responding, to sound snide. If someone said something that happened to them, she would imply they weren’t telling the whole story, the whole truth. She did this to me one time in class, I was struck silent. I lived this kind of life as a defenseless child. I was not interested in voluntarily going through this as an adult. I felt stuck there.

She would not call me back in a timely manner. When I told her certain skills were not working for me, and instead were in fact triggering panic attacks, and that I needed other ideas or skills instead of those particular skills, she would tell me there were plenty, but she did not give me any, though I repeatedly requested them for weeks.

During session she was not kind to me. She would often look around the room rather than focus on me during sessions. She would lean back in her chair and act like she was taking a break. She would repeatedly point around her office to little catch phrases and repeat them ad nauseum like they were the cure to what ailed me.

However, every time that I saw her in individual sessions and I brought up, even in the most vaguest way and only in passing the reality of my abuse issues, she would change the subject, shut me down, and start repeating her stupid catch phrases over and over, none of which were helpful, accepting or healing in any way.

When I would bring up mother daughter sexual abuse, she would look like a deer in the headlights, leaking fear, she would immediately stop me. Yes, it was that obvious.

Finally someone who had been emotionally abusive to me showed up in the class. I told the therapist in detail about this person being hurtful and abusive to me.

There is a rule in DBT class that says that clients cannot have secret or private interactions or relationships with one another, as that was something that created an unhealthy dynamic. The therapist kept saying that I would have to attend class with her. Instead I stayed home. It took them three weeks to decide that they would follow the rule and she would have to be in another class. During that phone conversation the therapist yelled at me. I hung up, called their messaging service and left the message that I quit.

What happened from this experience is that I/we shut down emotionally. I could not cry anymore. Tears had always come easily for me and they were healing. I valued that part of my healing process.

After her I was so shut down. I thought that crying was a waste of time. Of the few times that I was able to cry, it was not healing in any way, shape, or, form, as it had been in the past. Slowly the issue got better. I could cry, but it was not very healing. I could cry but it was something that I scolded myself for doing, something that I thought was a complete and utter waste of my time.

I talked about all of this, with several therapists. I talked about this with others. I posted about this online to other survivors. It never got any better.

About a year ago, after a Reiki class, three Reiki Master/Teachers listened. I think that would have been healing just by itself. They listened to my story. They let me get it all out. They let me cry. They let me talk and say how I felt and what a block this was in my life. They accepted. They did not judge. They never told me what to think. They never told me what to do.

Instead what they did for forty-five minutes while I talked was sit with me, put hands on me and hands towards me and send me Reiki healing. I talked. I cried. And it was healing tears.

That night I went home and cried. The next day as well. Now I could cry again. It still took me a few months to get over the ridiculous notion that I was not worthy of tears, that it was stupid, and not helpful at all.

Since then I cry when I have to. I cry when I need to. And it is always healing. That is my Reiki story.

Reiki Distance Healing

I am a Reiki Master/Teacher. Reiki is a kind of hands on healing method. I started taking the Reiki classes a few years ago due to a desire to heal. My goal was to help myself and others to heal.

It took me about five years to make up my mind to do Reiki. I wanted to, but the classes cost money. I wanted to, but I met a Reiki Teacher that I did not like. I wanted to, but I was scared. I wanted to, but couldn’t find a teacher.

The word Reiki comes from a combination of two Japanese words, Rei and Ki. I think of it as healing life force energy. It helps relax someone, reduce stress, and promotes healing. It can be used for physical and mental health issues.

Reiki is classified as an alternative healing method. Though it is not opposed to using Western medicine for healing as well.

Someone who is attuned for Reiki can give hands on or hands off sessions. They can also do distance healings for others.

When I have a Reiki session I feel my muscles relax, I have less pain, I sleep better and deeper, and I wake up with less pain and muscle tightness as well.

For the last six months I have been doing Reiki distance healings regularly, sending Reiki healing energy to people near and far. I had been doing this for about ten days every month. Previously I was very sporadic in my use of Reiki.

This month I have almost done twenty days and I would like to do that many next month and every month.

I have a small list for friends and survivors and survivor friends that I include in my distance healing list.

If anyone would like to be added to my list, just let me know through my blog or if you know my email address, drop me a line and let me know.

Good and healing thoughts to you.

What is Reiki?

http://www.reiki.org/faq/WhatIsReiki.html

Reiki Wiki page

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reiki