One of the major aspects of healing from childhood abuse is to begin to love yourself. With multiple personalities, this task is much more difficult, because I have to love parts of myself that have been so walled off that I didn’t even know them.
Diane Hugs, The Courage to Heal (p. 455).
Myth: Multiples don’t exist.
I had been thinking about how hard it is to say what being multiple is. Today I was reflecting on how much easier it is to say what multiples are not. So I thought I would start writing about what we aren’t.
Multiples are real. We exist. We are real people. We have real problems. Most of us were abused. We live our lives. We are like other people, with extras. And we are real. We exist.
For a time I was an assistant manager at a video store. I remember very clearly the conversation I had with a wonderful young man who worked there. He was a freshman in college and for some odd reason was taking abnormal psychology already. He was quite animated when he explained to me how Dissociative Identity Disorder did not really exist.
I can’t remember that he explained how that could be possible. He hadn’t retained enough of what his professor had said to explain his reasoning in detail. However I wasn’t going to listen. I interrupted him and said that multiples do exist.
I told him that I was a survivor of abuse, I had been in a number of women’s support groups, and had met and knew a number of people who were multiple. His eyes glazed over a bit while I explained about multiplicity, how his professor was wrong, and how multiples deserve being validated, believed in, to be given compassion and support in their healings and lives.
At the end he still had that look in his eye. That he believed in his professor and not me, not what I said, not in multiples. He was too polite to say it, but I saw it, and to look at me like that was just cruel. He didn’t realize it, but he was telling me that I didn’t exist. Yeah we exist. I exist.
We deserve better than lies, untruths, myths, and denial from society. We deserve better.