My Statement About Message Boards & Blogging

Since starting blogging almost five years ago I have almost exclusively been involved with blogging as a personal online resource with and for other survivors. So I have a bias in favor of blogging and I would recommend that someone start a blog and connect with other bloggers. However I know many who blog and message board and am glad to see that many survivors get support through both.

There are many small and a few larger message boards out there that are free and I hope that you would try them, if you want to do the message board experience. I have found several exceptional friends from message boards and was friends with many over the last twelve years in a way that was very exceptionally wonderful and healing. I have several links to free message boards on some of my resource pages, but please do not construe that as an endorsement or a statement that it is a safe and healing space. I cannot make such a promise. Please take care and use caution when extending yourself to others online, and indeed everywhere in your life.

I highly recommend that survivors do not join or participate in fee-based online message board groups that are owned and run by therapists. The therapist charges a monthly fee. I have experiences and known others who have had experiences that were negative, painful, abusive and very unhealing. I have remained silent about that. I don’t think that survivors of abuse should have to remain silent.

However almost all of the survivors I knew at those message boards were uniformly wonderful to me, routinely supportive, friendly, and kind. Two were the best friends of my entire life.

On purpose I do not have any resource links to any website that has or still may have a fee-based therapist-owned message board. If you find a website link on my blog that does have a fee-based therapist-owned message board, that is a mistake, and please let me know and I will delete it.

I would advise anyone to avoid fee-based therapist-owned message boards like the plague and to not pay for any message board interactions where the fees go to a therapist.

Others have a right to disagree with me, but they do not have a right to be abusive or threatening to me on my blog or to have any comments that do so posted to my blog. I have seen that happen to others. I will not allow that to happen here. My blog is moderated, nothing is posted automatically and must be first read and approved by me, and you have to have a wordpress account in order to leave a comment here, making it easier for me to file a complaint against someone who is abusive and making the other person be more accountable for their own words.

I realize that everyone must make their own choices, but have come to believe that I should make a statement of my beliefs on my blog, just so you know where I am coming from and so that I am not silent on the topic.

Message Boards, Business Websites & Business Blogs

I wanted to mention this, because it has been coming up fairly often as I am blogging. I do have some articles that I connect through a link on any number of my resource pages. I don’t recommend any of those businesses whether they are non-profits or not, even a few links to therapist websites, though I tend to avoid therapist blogs like the plague, and I would never link to a therapist blog.

Some links are to blogs on a topic of life and some are business blogs that the person uses in order to sell their products. I don’t recommend any of them and the sole purpose of the link is for the article that I directly link to. I am not recommending that you read other articles at the same website. I am just recommending this specific article.

I have several links to articles at a message board, but I don’t recommend the message boards, just the article. Over the years I have been a member of several message boards. I am not going to comment on my blog about specific message boards I have been at. There isn’t a message board, that I am aware of, that I would recommend to anyone, to a survivor or a secondary survivor.

I have several links to articles at a mother-daughter sexual abuse organization, I don’t recommend that website. I don’t recommend the message board there. There isn’t a message board that I would recommend to anyone.  What I am recommending is that the article might be worth reading and nothing else.

There isn’t a message board that I would recommend to anyone. If there was I would state that, this is a safe place to go and be a member in my opinion, if not, you can assume that I don’t recommend them.

If I don’t recommend a message board I believe the best phrase of caution would be let the buyer beware. Cautioning a buyer beware attitude to survivors and secondary survivors is what I believe is the best thing to do, whether it is a good site or safe site or not. I don’t have any specific links to message boards, just to articles posted on their parent sites.

If you think that you are not a purchaser of a message board, even if it is free, you would be wrong. I used to think that free support groups were really free, until I was damaged, used, abused and hurt by members, breaking my ability to trust others and to trust myself to discern a safe person. The same would be true of my experiences at message boards.

There was a message board, run by a woman, for survivors of abuse who have Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I was too damaged at the time to trust others there and it was difficult to post, since I was new and got few responses, which was devastating to me. After being abused and wounded it was difficult to build friendships up again. Unfortunately that board closed down some time ago, when I was still struggling through my issues, or I would highly recommend it.

Please use caution when participating at any message board you choose. I recommend checking out my Resource page where there are 40 pages of resources, non-profit organizations, articles, and healing support for survivors of child sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, and dealing with the aftermath of child sexual abuse.

I recommend  you look over grounding/coping links and  self-soothe/comfort links and learn some of those techniques as well. I recommend you work on learning and establishing boundaries.

I recommend good and healing thoughts to you all.