More Freierabend

Freierabend is German for celebratory evenings. And it is a perfect word for what I have been trying to do for several years, have more holidays and have more celebrations. I know that I’ve written about holidays here on the blog quite often and that is sure to continue, since I love them so much.

I decided to pick at least two new holidays per month that I want to celebrate, even if it is by myself and to write them all down and make a list and to post it here. I have a few that I really like and want to celebrate and some that I already do celebrate and enjoy. I have a tentative list and need to type it all so that I can get it in the works and posted.

Then of course there are unbirthdays, which are every day of the year that is not your birthday and since this is leap year we all have another day that is an unbirthday or a birthday if you were born on February 29th. So I decided that I would try to celebrate an unbirthday each month, at least once. And since today is the last day of the month I am going to have a little unbirthday celebration right now. Yippee. I almost forgot. 🙂 I am having chocolate cake that I make in a mug in the microwave, from a recipe I found some time ago on the internet. I’m also making hamburgers, which we love. 🙂 And perhaps some salad. What a nice little celebration for us all. Happy happy unbirthday to us! To us!

So that is a goal for this new year:

Have more celebrations. Have more holidays and celebrate them.  Make a list of them. Celebrate an unbirthday every month. Cultivate an attitude of celebration and joy and happiness.


Happy Holiday Everyone

Happy Easter to everyone. I hope that you have a lovely day and an enjoyable day, to those who celebrate. And to those of you who don’t I hope that you have a lovely day and an enjoyable day too! 🙂

I am going to a relative’s for a lovely meal and some time of being with others. It should be nice. 🙂

Good and healing thoughts to you all.

Happy Groundhog

Yeah so Phil saw his shadow, so six more weeks of winter. Phil’s website says he has a 100% accuracy rate.

However, I looked for his accuracy rate elsewhere and found:

“According to, Punxsutawney Phil has only been correct approximately 39% of the time. Of course, long range forecasts can be difficult to predict for the human forecaster.”

So Phil’s statistical accuracy says that we have a 61% chance of an early spring, not so bad. I’ll take those odds.

Happy Groundhog Day. 🙂

Healing Poems 144

New Year’s

Let other mornings honor the miraculous.
Eternity has festivals enough.
This is the feast of our mortality,
The most mundane and human holiday.

On other days we misinterpret time,
Pretending that we live the present moment.
But can this blur, this smudgy in-between,
This tiny fissure where the future drips

Into the past, this flyspeck we call now
Be our true habitat? The present is
The leaky palm of water that we skim
From the swift, silent river slipping by.

The new year always brings us what we want
Simply by bringing us along—to see
A calendar with every day uncrossed,
A field of snow without a single footprint.

~ Dana Gioia

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse December 2014 Edition

Holiday Theme:

The theme for this month is holidays; good childhood memories and difficult childhood memories, coping and grounding and self-soothe and comfort skills from the past, what works now, and what skills you are working at doing, and creating new holiday traditions and other functional ways of getting through the holiday season and December.

Have Yourself a Happy Little Holiday

Aprel Phelps Downey from her blog Healing the Broken Parts One Word at a Time submitted this post. I will quote from her post:

“How on earth are we suppose to enjoy one moment of the holiday season with all of these feelings of anxiety, stress, panic and striving for perfectionism racing through our veins?

Start by taking a deep breath and remembering the word “boundaries.” We don’t have to do anything this holiday season that we don’t want to do.”

Throughout this post Aprel writes as though she were giving the best advice to a best friend. And it is great advice for the holiday season. Thanks so much Aprel!

Holidays Are a Time for Boundaries

Aprel Phelps Downey from her blog Healing the Broken Parts One Word at a Time submitted this post early in November on the holiday theme. It is such a great post I decided it should be included in both the November and December Blog Carnival Editions.

Memories of Holidays With My Family

Rainbow Gryphon shares extensively and with a high level of awareness and emotions of her experiences as a child and an adult at holiday times (Thanksgiving and Jewish holidays primarily), with dysfunctional family members and without. Great post that gave me a lot to think and feel about from reading this post. I include it in this month’s Blog Carnival as well as in last month’s Edition.

Holiday Traditions Old & New

I wanted to write a Christmas post specifically about making new Christmas holiday traditions while choosing what I wanted to keep from my childhood that I loved. I’ve been working hard on this all month. I hope you enjoy the post.

Ist Advent Sunday

For the first time ever I wanted to celebrate Advent and especially to try to celebrate each Advent Sunday in a way that was healing and fun, though I was doing it by myself.

2nd Advent Sunday

3rd Advent Sunday

4th Advent Sunday

Give a Gift to Your Least Favorite Body Part

Give a Gift to Your Favorite Body Part

I’ve also included links to three of my favorite resource pages on my blog, the three that I think relate the most to holidays, how to use grounding/coping skills, self-soothing/comforting skills, and how to manage your holiday coping better than before.

Holiday Coping

Grounding/Coping Skills


In addition I am including three links to Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Editions of the past that cover the holidays for another month.

November/December 2013 of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse (hosted at Kate is Rising)

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse November 2011 Surviving Holidays Edition (hosted at From Tracie)

Mini Carnival: Holiday Survival Tips for Survivors 2009 (hosted at Survivors Can Thrive)

Healing and Therapy:

Healing is a Spiral Staircase

Sheryl Burpee Dluginski from her blog Sheryl Burpee Dluginski submitted this post. I absolutely love! this post. Thanks so much Sheryl for the submission and the great post. Here is just a few of her wise words from the post:

“Some of us were raised in families whose particular brand of dysfunctions led us to adapt by being overly “good”, helpful and accommodating to others. Yes, it is possible to be too kind to others, when it ends up meaning you’re unkind to yourself.”

and again

“Personal growth doesn’t happen in a linear progression. It’s more like climbing a spiral staircase. You start at the bottom where you see a certain view of the space around you. Think of this view as your perspective on your world. With work, you take some steps up and notice that you’ve achieved a higher level of functioning. The view from here is different. You see the world from a new angle, and your new success motivates you to take some more steps, moving you toward more growth and another new perspective. ”

Please take some time and read Sheryl’s excellent post and check out her blog.Thanks so much Sheryl. I really loved and enjoyed your post.

Winter Solstice Ideas

Here are some winter solstice ideas that I liked a lot:

Decorate homespace with found items of nature.

Setting an intention for celebration.

Watch the first winter sunset.

Solstice lanterns.

Use candles to light your home.

Set intentions for the upcoming year.

Bell ringing ceremony.

Fire releasing ceremony.

I’ve done a fire releasing ceremony in the past. It was tremendously healing and focusing. We wrote down everything that we wanted to release and heal from and then the rolled up list was burned, outside. I would like to do that again, perhaps at the new year, if it is possible.

For my celebration of Solstice this Sunday I am going to have candles, though artificial ones, do a short bell ringing ceremony, with my favorite crystal bell, and set intention for the coming new year.

A short explanation of my intention for the new year is homespace and what that entails, inner reality space, my living space, and the reality of myself that I take with me wherever I go, accepting myself and my life and the things that I am and that I love and do, so that I take my self-love and self-acceptance with me wherever I go. I’ve been working on several of these issues for some time this year, so this will be exciting because I see that I have done a huge amount of healing and progress in these areas and I’m really and seriously looking forward to my healing path in 2015.

I’m sure that I’ll be writing more about that in the near future.

Healing Quotes, Christmas 14


“Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.”
~ The Polar Express


“Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.”

~ Andy Borowitz


“Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words.”


~ Harlan Miller


Christmas Quotes

Healing Quotes, Christmas 12B


“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”

~ Kin Hubbard



“On St. Patrick’s Day I to pretend to be Irish. At Christmas I pretend to be good.”


~ Unknown



“Gonna put a selfie on top of the Christmas tree because I am the star.”
~ Unknown

Healing Quotes, Christmas 12


“It still feels weird to spend money on Christmas trees. Back when Mom was alive, we’d go out “tree hunting.” That’s what she called it, anyway. I think other people might use the word “trespassing.”
― Jenny Han, Fire with Fire



“…freshly cut Christmas trees smelling of stars and snow and pine resin – inhale deeply and fill your soul with wintry night…”
~ John Geddes, A Familiar Rain



“Van Gogh on Christmas:
And now we’re slowly heading towards winter, and many dread it, but Christmas is wonderful, it’s like the moss on the roofs and like the pine and the holly and the ivy in the snow.
Isleworth, 10 November 1876”
~ Liesbeth Heenk, The 1-Hour van Gogh Book – How to look at Van Goghs

Healing Quotes, Christmas 11


“Actually Grandad Christmas is a pagan holiday and Jesus probably hates you for celebrating it.”
~ Huey Freeman, The Boondocks



“I was that kind of tired you feel when you’ve spent a day in a hospital while a loved one undergoes surgery and comes through all right, the loved one, of course, being myself, and Christmas being the surgical procedure.”
~ Vicki Covington, Bird of Paradise



“If December is a journey toward Christmas, you can decide which roads to take and who your traveling companions will be on that trip.”


Christmas Quotes