Message Boards, Business Websites & Business Blogs

I wanted to mention this, because it has been coming up fairly often as I am blogging. I do have some articles that I connect through a link on any number of my resource pages. I don’t recommend any of those businesses whether they are non-profits or not, even a few links to therapist websites, though I tend to avoid therapist blogs like the plague, and I would never link to a therapist blog.

Some links are to blogs on a topic of life and some are business blogs that the person uses in order to sell their products. I don’t recommend any of them and the sole purpose of the link is for the article that I directly link to. I am not recommending that you read other articles at the same website. I am just recommending this specific article.

I have several links to articles at a message board, but I don’t recommend the message boards, just the article. Over the years I have been a member of several message boards. I am not going to comment on my blog about specific message boards I have been at. There isn’t a message board, that I am aware of, that I would recommend to anyone, to a survivor or a secondary survivor.

I have several links to articles at a mother-daughter sexual abuse organization, I don’t recommend that website. I don’t recommend the message board there. There isn’t a message board that I would recommend to anyone.  What I am recommending is that the article might be worth reading and nothing else.

There isn’t a message board that I would recommend to anyone. If there was I would state that, this is a safe place to go and be a member in my opinion, if not, you can assume that I don’t recommend them.

If I don’t recommend a message board I believe the best phrase of caution would be let the buyer beware. Cautioning a buyer beware attitude to survivors and secondary survivors is what I believe is the best thing to do, whether it is a good site or safe site or not. I don’t have any specific links to message boards, just to articles posted on their parent sites.

If you think that you are not a purchaser of a message board, even if it is free, you would be wrong. I used to think that free support groups were really free, until I was damaged, used, abused and hurt by members, breaking my ability to trust others and to trust myself to discern a safe person. The same would be true of my experiences at message boards.

There was a message board, run by a woman, for survivors of abuse who have Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I was too damaged at the time to trust others there and it was difficult to post, since I was new and got few responses, which was devastating to me. After being abused and wounded it was difficult to build friendships up again. Unfortunately that board closed down some time ago, when I was still struggling through my issues, or I would highly recommend it.

Please use caution when participating at any message board you choose. I recommend checking out my Resource page where there are 40 pages of resources, non-profit organizations, articles, and healing support for survivors of child sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, and dealing with the aftermath of child sexual abuse.

I recommend  you look over grounding/coping links and  self-soothe/comfort links and learn some of those techniques as well. I recommend you work on learning and establishing boundaries.

I recommend good and healing thoughts to you all.

I’m Reviewing My Situation

For the last three months I have been reviewing grounding techniques. Over the years I’ve found some that work really good, some that work a little, some that do not work at all and feel uncomfortable, some that do the opposite and are incredibly triggering, and some that do not work at all and that I find loathesome and hateful.

The purpose of grounding is to make us feel safer, more connected. I really have to say that I have not found a huge amount of grounding through the common methods.

I’m going to do a review of grounding methods and post about that soon, as well as sharing why some things seem wrong, bad, or triggering to me and how they might not be the best things for others.  

I’m going to try to do this in small portions, so that I don’t have to write a huge amount that seems to be a huge meal, that no one will find helpful and neither will I. I’m not writing a book here on grounding, I’m going to do it in small snack sized portions so I can focus on specific issues and finding better solutions.

The process in the last few months has found me getting some great ideas and I’m working on developing and refining them, and I’ll post about that as well.

P.S. I’m reviewing my situation is lyrics from the movie Oliver, from a song sung by Fagin, a thief, who takes in orphan and lost kids, turning them into pickpocket thieves. Lol, yes I want to influence others, just not to the dark side.