I have always loved dolls. I had several of them when I was in elementary school. I used to sleep with them and my stuffed animals and line them up next to me from my head to my feet.
When I was eleven years old I still had dolls. I did not consider this odd. For Christmas I got a small baby doll, about four inches tall. My mother told me that now that I was old enough I would never get another doll and would never need one.
I didn’t get rid of my dolls. I started buying used ones at a local flea market. I had dolls around me through my high school years.
Part of my twenties I felt ashamed of my dolls and my need and connection to them. I finally talked myself out of that, especially since my shame came directly from my mother and my sister. I realized they were not fit women to tell me how to live my life.
I bought some new ones. I bought more used ones. I started collecting the Disney dolls. I lined them up on book shelves. I loved seeing their smiling faces. Finally I realized that having them around made me feel less lonely. And to accept that they played a part in my level of happiness. I liked that.
Reflecting on this reminded me that most of my dolls are still in boxes. I decided to start planning on going through them and to find some space for a few more of them to be out in our home space. After all, it is their space too, and I love having them there.
All over where I live there are books. I am connected to them. These are books that I have a special connection to, I chose them and they chose me.
There are books everywhere. There is a library about a mile away from where I live. There are many books sitting in one place and that makes for a very powerful energy convergence. All week there are books coming and going from there. There are books sitting and moving all over the world and I am connected to them too.
Words are powerful, but it is more than just my connection to words that make books powerful and me connected to them. It is what you do with the words that matter. It is that in those books are words organized into groupings that state facts, concepts, ideas, and more. They show drawing and paintings and photos. There are so many books that bring healing. I love that. I love books. I am connected to all of those things. I am connected to books.
There is one building that I have the most affection and attachment for. It is the downtown Minneapolis library. For those who read my blog, this is probably no surpise, and the library features heavily in my life.
Yes, I love the books there, and that is probably also another area for connectedness, but I picked this building for an additional reason; it is very grounded. It has structure that reaches down and up. It has weight and it has mass. It is solid and grounded and relaxing. When I am there I know that I am home.
The new building, which was built on the old library spot, is shown above. I first went to the old building on a school field trip when I was in elementary school. Back then there was a very small museum in the basement of the library. I have gone to the library countless times since then. The new building opened less than ten years ago. I was there on the opening day. It has been, it is, and perhaps will always be, my favorite library.
On the nighttime photo below you can see where the coffeeshop is by looking at it. On the first floor, in the front of the building, on the left hand side of the photo is the Dunn Brothers coffeeshop. I love sitting there on one of their plush leather chairs and reading and letting my mind wander as I look out through the windows three feet in front of me that go up about twenty feet high. There have been times that I have been sitting there and had to stop and wipe away tears, because we were so happy to be there. The clouds amble by in the most beautiful and meditative state, yeah the zen of clouds. We love it.
I’ve been working on grounding a lot lately. Just when I think I really need to post some more on this process, something new comes up and alters how I want to write about it and my ability to find a way of doing that while incorporating the new stuff in the process. There are many new concepts I am working on and I am very happy with that work. I guess it needs some more percolating and marinating time before I can post something on it. I’ll try to get something written so I can post about it before the end of this month.
Other healing work is going good as well. If I had only one wish for myself it would be that I had good health for the rest of my life. I could do so much more, if only I was healthy. More and more I think about magical wishes. I know, hard work, determination, healing work. Yeah, right.
About 18 months ago I bought a small battery recharger with some rechargeable batteries. About ten months ago they stopped recharging. I kept meaning to go and buy some more. But when I would get to the store, they wanted too much money for them, as far as I was concerned, so I would walk away and not buy them. The store that charged less was a long ways away by bike, then it was too cold to bike, then I wasn’t well enough to bike so far.
I tend to do this a lot about buying things that I think I need. I pretty much put off spending money for something. So I spend my money and still don’t have the things that I think I need. This has been going on for a long time.
This issue has become a self-care issue. I want to take better care of myself and my needs. It seems like a small thing, but it took a lot of effort to do and my actions bring a lot of goodness into my life. I love listening to music.
I was looking online at the sale ad this week at Target. And they were on sale, so I went there yesterday and bought some, among other things. Now I can listen to some music when at the library and when sitting outside while reading a book. I’ve missed it. Sometimes self-care is so sweet.