I know that there are lots of me that I don’t acknoweldge and honor. I am really just starting to accept and know certain things about myself. It is a challenge to feel that. It is a challenge to think about being thankful and loving to those hidden things about me.
I am very intuitive. I am coming to know and accept, to honor and express love to myself in this area.
For a long time I was pretty clueless about it all. In other ways I knew there was something extra there, wanted it, was scared of it, embraced it, shared it, was mistreated for it and used for it and now love it.
I responded to a lot of things that others did not validate. I felt a lot of things that others did not feel. I picked up a lot of vibes and sensations and awareness and knowledge that has been mostly devalued and debunked by others.
I have noticed that more survivors understand. They needed extra life skills in order to read people, especially abusers, in order to survive. They know how to subtly evaluate others, to read tone of voice, facial expression, body language, etc in order to find a way to cope through their childhood days.
This develops our intuition to a higher level than most non-survivors. Mine was always very strong. I hid from that. I hid it from others.
Many times I have thought of intution as an extra gift, something that is almost outside of myself, something that just comes to me out of thin air. In working on body esteem recently I have really come to the conclusion that I was wrong about this.
Intuition is a body-based activity. I use my senses, my body, my nervous system, my digestive system to sense fear, reactions, etc, my immediate environment to evaluate minutia, to come to a conclusion that is based not on something extra-sensory, but rather something that is using all my senses, all my muscles, all my bones, all my body, all my mind, all of me in order to do so.
And for that great gift from my body I am so thankful. I love you my body. I love each part, large and small. I love you for all that you have given me in this respect to live my life, to survive, and to be who I am.
I love you pancreas, perhaps you do help me with my intuition and I just don’t know it yet.
I love you my cells, you join together to make me and I love you for that.
I love you my mind, something in the joining created you and I love and value you.
I love you my DNA. Something inside of you made me uniquely who I am and I celebrate that as I celebrate you. All of my ancestors down the lines of ancestors contributed to you (my DNA) being exactly what you are and for making me who I am. You make it possible for me to have intution. You make it possible for me to be me. I love you.
I love you my intution. I love you my body.