Healing Quotes 114 and 115

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.

  ~ Kahlil Gibran

If we are lucky, if we manage to find good support systems among our families, friends, and subsequent therapists, or havens such as the TELL network, and most important, if we can locate those places inside ourselves that are strong, then ultimately the lessons we learn from our abusers will not be those they set out to teach us.  Instead, we will have learned honesty from the dishonest, sensitivity from the insensitive, mental health from the perverse, and kindness from the unkind.

And, we need not be grateful to those teachers.

~ Jan Wohlberg at Tell: Therapy Exploitation Link Line

Therapist Abuse

Survivor Resource Pages (Forty pages of resources, non-profit organizations, articles, and healing support for survivors of child sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, and dealing with the aftermath of child sexual abuse.)

Surviving Therapist Abuse

TELL: Therapist Exploitation Link Line

Abuse Checklist: Is There Something Wrong or Questionable in Your Treatment

Do You Need Help?

Danger Signs




Keeping the Secret

Guilt: Blaming Ourselves

Emotional Abuse in Psychotherapy

It’s Not About the Money…

The Patient’s Bill of Rights

Survivor Creativity Page

Professional Therapy Never Includes Sex (Califonria Department of Consumer Affairs)

Sexual Misconduct by Professionals: Some Historical Perspectives

Above All, Do No Harm: Abuse of Power by Health Care Professionals

Sex Between Therapists and Clients

Sexual Abuse in the Therapeutic Setting

Don’t Call it Consent: Being Groomed for Sex

Why We Stay: How Childhood Loss, Abandonment, and Neglect Can Make it Hard to Leave an Abusive Therapist

Why Did You Keep Going For So Long? Issues for Survivors of Long-Term, Sexually Abusive “Helping” Relationships

Sexual and Other Ethical Boundary Violations in Psychotherapy: The Victim’s Perspective

A Male Survivor’s Story

A Husband’s Story

Shock and After-Shocks: A Husband’s Story

Taking Action Against Your Therapist– Whatever Your Feelings Are

Taking Action Against the Abuser–Emotions and Inner Conflicts

Taking Action: A Success Story

Professional Organizations and Licensing

Writing a Licensing Board Complaint

How to Choose a Lawyer After Your Therapist Has Exploited You

Civil Litigation for Negligence and Intentional Misconduct

Letting G0

Subsequent Treatment

Advice for Subsequent Therapists– from a Colleague who Learned the Hard Way

The Problem of Subsequent Therapists and Language Deficits

Helen Bramson: Treatment After Sexual Abuse by a Mental Health Practitioner

Countertransference and Special Concerns of Subsequent Treating of Patients Sexually Exploited by a Previous Therapist

The Hypocrisy of Boundary Violations

Recommended Books

Suggested Readings

I Stand Up

I stand up. I stand up because it matters. Because it is important. I do. I know there is a lot out there on blogs, online, in life; in defense of others, sometimes for abusers, sometimes for someone accused.  I wanted to write a post about what I do stand up for and what I won’t.

I stand up for survivors. I am not here to decide whether their claims are true or false, provable or not in a court of law. I am not here to judge them. I am here to accept them, to share about my journey of healing, and to interact with other survivors. If there is ever any question on where I stand and why; I stand up, for abuse survivors because I care.

I do not stand up for sexual offenders; accused, charged, or convicted. Not now, not ever. I will not engage in an argument with another survivor or non-survivor about a specific sexual offender, though neither am I ignorant of the facts on the case as they have been presented. I do not believe that there is any reason to discuss this. I have only found that I end up having worse feelings and more pain. I will not do this. However, I will think less of any person who chooses to defend an accused sexual offender.

I have also learned that sometimes that is not enough; whenever possible I avoid deniers, excusers and will try to avoid spending my money on their products. If you think that giving a 13 year old alcohol, half a qualllude, and then rape her, and then you attest that is perfectly acceptable behavior by signing a petition, I will not be spending my money on your entertainment products. I won’t be missing you.

I stand up for clients of therapists. Whether they are survivors or not, abused or violated by their therapists or not. Whether they file charges or complaints against their therapists or not. I do not assume that there are bad clients out there ruining the field of psychology or psychiatry. I am not disappointed in the D.I.D. community and accuse them of making frivolous complaints with review boards. I stand up for them.

I do not stand up for therapists who are accused of inappropriate or abusive behavior by their clients through court or complaint processes. I am a survivor. I do not accuse or warn survivors who may or may not be D.I.D. of filing frivolous lawsuits.

Many survivors have been abused by inappropriate, unethical, and criminal actions by therapists.I am one of them. I do not stand up for therapists who have been accused. I have no way of knowing if they are doing the right thing or not. I am not here to judge clients who do so. I won’t judge them. I stand up for them.

Therapists have the education and training to deal with these legal matters. Therapists have money and can hire lawyers. They have people on their side. They are perfectly capable of taking care of their lives and their professional careers. They do not need me. They do not want me to be shilling for them. I won’t be shilling for them. I won’t be standing up for them.

(In case someone comes here to my blog, and needs to know what I stand for.)