I stand up. I stand up because it matters. Because it is important. I do. I know there is a lot out there on blogs, online, in life; in defense of others, sometimes for abusers, sometimes for someone accused. I wanted to write a post about what I do stand up for and what I won’t.
I stand up for survivors. I am not here to decide whether their claims are true or false, provable or not in a court of law. I am not here to judge them. I am here to accept them, to share about my journey of healing, and to interact with other survivors. If there is ever any question on where I stand and why; I stand up, for abuse survivors because I care.
I do not stand up for sexual offenders; accused, charged, or convicted. Not now, not ever. I will not engage in an argument with another survivor or non-survivor about a specific sexual offender, though neither am I ignorant of the facts on the case as they have been presented. I do not believe that there is any reason to discuss this. I have only found that I end up having worse feelings and more pain. I will not do this. However, I will think less of any person who chooses to defend an accused sexual offender.
I have also learned that sometimes that is not enough; whenever possible I avoid deniers, excusers and will try to avoid spending my money on their products. If you think that giving a 13 year old alcohol, half a qualllude, and then rape her, and then you attest that is perfectly acceptable behavior by signing a petition, I will not be spending my money on your entertainment products. I won’t be missing you.
I stand up for clients of therapists. Whether they are survivors or not, abused or violated by their therapists or not. Whether they file charges or complaints against their therapists or not. I do not assume that there are bad clients out there ruining the field of psychology or psychiatry. I am not disappointed in the D.I.D. community and accuse them of making frivolous complaints with review boards. I stand up for them.
I do not stand up for therapists who are accused of inappropriate or abusive behavior by their clients through court or complaint processes. I am a survivor. I do not accuse or warn survivors who may or may not be D.I.D. of filing frivolous lawsuits.
Many survivors have been abused by inappropriate, unethical, and criminal actions by therapists.I am one of them. I do not stand up for therapists who have been accused. I have no way of knowing if they are doing the right thing or not. I am not here to judge clients who do so. I won’t judge them. I stand up for them.
Therapists have the education and training to deal with these legal matters. Therapists have money and can hire lawyers. They have people on their side. They are perfectly capable of taking care of their lives and their professional careers. They do not need me. They do not want me to be shilling for them. I won’t be shilling for them. I won’t be standing up for them.
(In case someone comes here to my blog, and needs to know what I stand for.)