For Partners and Supporters of Survivors

Survivor Resource Pages (Forty pages of resources, non-profit organizations, articles, and healing support for survivors of child sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, and the aftermath of child sexual abuse.)

What You Should Know About Rape and Sexual Assault

The Impact of Sexual Abuse

Healing from Child Sexual Abuse Resources

Rape/Sexual Assault Resources

Male Rape/Sexual Assault Resources

How to Help a Friend

What Survivors Need from Loved Ones

Tips for Friends and Family of Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivors

What the Partners of Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse Want to Know

How to Help Your Partner Cope with Male Sexual Abuse

For Loved Ones of Sexual Assault/Abuse Survivors

Child Abuse Triggers and Dissociation Pt. 3 (Helping Someone after they Dissociate)

Role of Carers and Supporters

How to Help Rape Survivors

For Parents and Partners of Rape

Watching Them Survive: A Website for the Friends and Family of Violent Sexual Crime

Specifically For Partners:

Primer for Partners of Sexual Abuse Survivors

Partners with PTSD

Partners of Survivors

Partners of Rape Survivors

For Parents and Partners of Rape

A Man’s Guide for Helping a Woman Who Has Been Raped

The Dos and Don’t for Partners of Survivors of Rape and Childhood Sexual Abuse

When Your (Lesbian) Partner is a Survivor of Sexual Abuse or Incest

Partner Sexual Abuse Questions and Answers

How to Help Your Partner Recover from Eating Problems

How to Help Those Who Self-Harm

Support for Partners.com

What About Me? The Partner of Sexual Abuse Survivor

What Partners Need

A Partner’s Dilemma

Tips for Helping a Partner Heal Sexually

Self-Care for Supporters of Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivors

On the Topic of Dissociative Identity Disorder:

Dissociative Identity Disorder Resources

Specifically for Partners of Survivors with DID:

Blog: Loving Someone with DID

Organization: Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors

My Experience as a Partner of a Dissociative Disorder

For Better or Worse: Life as the Partner of a Dissociative Survivor

The Road Less Travelled Part One: How to Support Your DID Partner (Part 1)

The Road Less Travelled Part One: How to Support Your DID Partner (Part 2)

Don’t do it!” – A Partner’s Perspective on Self-harm and Suicidality

When the One You Love is MPD/DID

Partners of Dissociative Survivors

The Significant Other’s Guide to Dissociative Identity Disorder

Help! My Friend Has DID. How Can I Help?

Connectedness to My Spirit Guides

I’ve written about my spirit guides before on the blog. They mean a great deal to me.  

I remember being four years old and seeing and talking to my guardian angel. I still see him. I still talk to him. His image of me as a loveable person of worth still touches my heart and challenges me to come to place where I can fully believe him. Being loved by an angel, to me, is a powerful thing.

My teacher guide has taught me so much about Reiki, energy, and healing; which has been particularly important to me, because I don’t have a lot of regular contact with Reiki people that I can learn from. He loves me and that means so much to me. He teaches me so much. He reminds me to focus on healing. He is there all the way through my healing path. He has had a powerful influence on my life and my healing.

My animal guides give me so much wisdom, acceptance, and respect. I have a strong connectedness to animals through nature. So having animal guides feels very natural to me. My animal guides are so powerful in my life. One of my animal guides is guiding me in cleansing exercises of the emotional aftereffects of child sexual abuse. We swim in the ocean, though I live in the middle of the country. It is an incredible healing journey.

Connectedness to Silliness

I tend to be silly when I am happy. It makes me happier. I tend to make a lot of jokes and tend towards silliness. We like silliness. It makes me smile and it gets me the outlook on life that I like to have and like the most.

For about a year I was not able to do that much. I realize now that I wasn’t safe and so I couldn’t be silly. Who would have thought that safe and functional people were pre-requisites for me to be silly?

I had trusted people who were not trustworthy. I was living in places with people who I could not be silly with. They took offense easily and so avoiding them worked best. They were dysfunctional and abusive and so I couldn’t be silly around those kinds of people. I wasn’t safe and couldn’t work on healing much, but I also couldn’t work on being real, being myself, being silly.

Now I can. And silliness is making me happier and happier with myself. I feel very connected to my silliness. 🙂

Child Sexual Abuse into Adulthood

I was sexually abused until I was twenty-four years old. There was a man who abused me for over twenty years. Yes, it was still sexual abuse. No, even though I was an adult physically, I was not able to give consent to someone who had sexually abused me since I was a preschooler, because my no was not respected and honored. I had no boundaries, no safety, no protections from this person, no matter what age I was.

Even though I was an adult, I still consider it child sexual abuse.

In the last ten years I have known a large number of adult survivors of child sexual abuse who have disclosed they went through this as well.

I used to think that was rare. It is not rare. I think it is something that is very hard to disclose.

As survivors we blame ourselves, others blame us, abusers blame us, society blames victims. It is hard to put those lies aside and disclose. It is hard to feel this vulnerable and to share it.

It is very common among ritual abuse survivors, especially by ritual abuse members and family members. Being dissociative makes those of us with DID even more vulnerable to re-abuse in adulthood.

It is not commonly talked about in the healing community as a topic. It is not often written about in books on child sexual abuse and healing.

I do not recall reading a book, outside of the topic of ritual abuse, where it is discussed by the therapeutic community or disclosed by a survivor.

There are a number of books that I have not read, so it is possible. I have just noticed that it does not seem to have entered the public consciousness, yet.

I have read and posted lots of resource links pages for survivors, but have never come across an article or website on this topic in the last four or five years. Again, it could be out there, I just don’t know about it and I do a lot of searching.

In the last eight years I’ve been online in many survivor forums. Several of my closest survivor friends met on boards have experienced on-going child sexual abuse into adulthood. There are several brave survivors on blogs who acknowledge they were child sexually abused into their adulthoods. Some of them are my best friends.

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse while being an adult.

Healing from Child Sexual Abuse

Survivor Resource Pages (Forty pages of resources, non-profit organizations, articles, and healing support for survivors of child sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, and dealing with the aftermath of child sexual abuse.)

Grounding/Coping Skills Links

Self-Soothe/Comfort Skills Links

Emotions and Self-Esteem

Covert Sexual Abuse

Boundaries

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Archive

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Submission Form

Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder Links

Self Injury/Self-Harm Links

Eating Disorders Links

Resources: Suicide Hotlines

Incest and Child Sexual Abuse: Definitions, Perpetrators, Victims and Effects

What is Child Sexual Abuse?

Stages of Growth

The Incest Survivors’ Aftereffects Check-List

Total Estimated Cost of Child Abuse and Neglect in the United States

Proud to be Me: A Survival Guide to Childhood Sexual Abuse

True Facts Our Abuse-Culture Doesn’t Want You To Know

Why Child Sexual Abuse Can Never Be Your Fault

Adult Survivors’ Attachment Styles

Long Term Effects of Abuse

Effects of Maltreatment on Brain Development

The Characteristics of an Alcoholic Household

Roles in Dysfunctional Families

The Characteristics & Common Traits of People Who Grew Up in Alcoholic Homes

Who Says Our Dysfunctional Parents Did the Best They Could?

Child on Child Sexual Abuse

Can Child Sexual Abuse Also Involve a Child Abusing Another Child?

Many Sex Offenders are Kids Themselves

Understanding Juvenile Sexual Offenders

References for Understanding Juvenile Sexual Offenders

Abandonment: Frequently Asked Questions

Pets and PTSD

40 Ways to Practice Self-Kindness

Accepting and Meeting Your Own Emotional Needs

Finding Self-Love As a Survivor: How Do You Love Yourself When You’ve Been Taught to Hate Yourself

Self-Compassion: Treating Yourself Kindly

Self-Care for Survivors

Self-Care for Survivors of Abuse

Self Care After Rape

Self Care for Life

Healing Tools

How to be Alone Video

Working through Feelings of Social Isolation

Toxic People

Are Your Friends True or Toxic

Choosing Friends Wisely

How to Make Friends

A Little Help From Our Friends

Making and Keeping Friends- A Self-Help Guide

Portable Comfort: How to Take Comfort With You

Mothering Ourselves

Create Yourself a New Mom

Let Your Inner Child Play

33 Ways to Be Childlike Today

Nurture the Child Within

10 Ways to Be the Person You Wanted to Be As a Kid

Childhood Dreams That are Attainable Now

Play With Me Granny   (Value in board games.)

The Nintendo Wii as a Therapy Tool?

Write Your Healing Story

Memories and Healing

The Art of Decluttering

Crafts for Littles Projects

Fun Links for Littles

Wounded Inner Child

Healing the Inner Child

Healing Your Inner Child After Sexual Abuse

Crashing Out of Repression

What is Anger?

Powerlessness

Powerlessness

The Body Remembers

Child Abuse and Triggers

Triggers and Flashbacks

Child Abuse Triggers and Dissociation Part 1

Child Abuse Triggers and Dissociation Part 2

Nightmares and the Survivor

Coping with Flashbacks

13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks

The Body Remembers

Coping with Body Memories

How to Cope with Sleep Problems

How to Cope with Panic Attacks

Coping with Panic Attacks

Relaxation and Relaxation Exercises

Coping with Anniversaries

Betrayal

Forgiving Yourself

Accepting Yourself

All or Nothing Thinking

Cognitive Distortions

Get Out of the Distorted Thinking Trap

Setting Healthy Boundaries with Abusive Parents

Reasons to Stop Making Comparisons

Hurtful Comments from Others

Is It Dwelling or Healing?

Choosing the Right Therapist

Shame is Projected

Shame and Self-Blame After Trauma

Shame: The Relationship Between Shame and Child Abuse

Feelings of Shame

Overcoming Shame

Family Shame

Toxic Shame

Healing Shame: The Hiding Places of Toxic Shame

Blaming: The Ineffective Art of Scrambling for Comfort

Stages of Grief

Grieving (For Survivors)

Dealing with Grief

How to Deal with Grief: What Every Child Abuse Survivor Should Know

Survivor to Thriver Manual: Online Version

Survivor to Thriver Manual PDF Version

Proud to be Me– A Survival Guide for Victims of CSA

Can I Trust My Memory

Trusting Your Memories of Child Sexual Abuse

But Why Didn’t I Tell?

Twenty Helpful Things My Therapist Said

For Partners and Supporters of Survivors of Abuse Resources

Handbook on Sensitive Practice for Healthcare Practitioners: Lessons from Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

Swordancewarrior’s Information Sheet for Primary Healthcare Providers

Effect of Childhood Sexual Abuse on Gynecological Care as an Adults

I Will Survive (Thoughts on Survivors Giving Birth)

Dental Fear Central

Problems With Toothbrushing and Tips

Tips for Dentists and Patients: Handling the Gag Reflex

Dental Fear in Abuse Survivors

Dental Tips for Survivors

Tips for Abuse Survivors and Their Dentists

Sexual Abuse in Childhood and Dental Fear (An Interview)

Sibling Sexual Abuse and Incest During Childhood

Mother Daughter Sexual Abuse Links

Male Survivors Links

Infant Sexual Abuse Links

Bloggers’ Resource Page Links

Survivors of Incest Anonymous

Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

Information on Child Sexual Abuse

Eight Common Myths About Child Sexual Abuse

Sexual Abuse of Children

4 Steps to Help You to Evolve to the Next Level

Cycle of Healing

Taking Back Everything

The Survivors’ Ink Project

The Survivors’ Ink Project Facebook Page

Books Can Help You Heal

Cinematherapy.com (Using Movies for Healing and Growth)

Triggering Movies

Triggering TV Shows

Triggering Books List

Challenges for Survivors: Watching Movies and Television Shows

Challenges for Survivors: Watching Talkshows

Reach Out to Others- and Yourself

Abuse Survivors: Remembering Your Strengths

Deeper Than Skin Deep (Impact of Societal Messages)

Breaking Down Generalizations and Stereotypes (About the Group Your Perpetrator Belonged to)

How Do You Define Forgiveness in the Absence of Repentance? (An Alternative Interpretation)

How to Honor Your Parents (An Alternative Interpretation)

Privilege: White Privilege, etc.

Is It Wrong to Be a Victim?

Speaking Out, Activism, and Finding Joy (with Angela Shelton)

Sex, Intimacy, and Sexual Violence Survivors (with Wendy Maltz)

Rape, Sexual Abuse, Loss and Grief

Memory and Sexual Assault

Child Sexual Abuse and the “Grooming” Process

Revictimization