“Courage, Elena.’ Brushing his fingertips over her cheek, he led her back to the infirmary. ‘Of that I know you have an imprudent amount.”
Nalini Singh, Archangel’s Legion
(Elena) “It isn’t only hurt you avoid by avoiding bonds’ — she tried to make him see the truth it had taken her almost two decades to understand…’you miss out on the painful joy that comes from throwing your heart wide open and going hell-for-leather.’
A pause, then words that were stones thrown into the tranquil mirror of an unbroken lake, (Aodhan) ‘Are you not afraid?’
‘Terrified,’ she admitted, thinking of the violent stab of vulnerability that had hit her just that morning. “But you know what? Fuck fear.”
~ Nalini Singh, Archangel’s Legion
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
~ Albert Einstein
“True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.”
~ William Goldman, The Princess Bride
“Love is another kind of power, which shouldn’t surprise you. Magic comes from emotions, among other things.”
~ Jim Butcher, Blood Rites
“I don’t believe it,’ Quince says with absolute certainty. ‘ I don’t believe anything magical can make someone more in love.’ […] He looks me right in the eye as he says, ‘Love is already the strongest magic in the world.”
~ Tera Lynn Childs, Forgive My Fins
“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.”
~ Jimi Hendrix
“Love me or hate me I promise that it will never make or break me…<3”
~ Tyra Banks, Tyra’s Beauty Inside & Out
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
~ Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP
“And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”
~ Holy Bible: The New King James Version
“The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’ But…the good Samaritan reversed the question: ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?”
~ Martin Luther King Jr.
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
~ Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness
“The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day.”
~ David Foster Wallace, This Is Water
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”
~ Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven
I really admired a recent post on guidelines for making resolutions. I re-blogged that yesterday. I agree that resolutions so often can be unrealistic, rigid, unloving, guilt inducing things that we use for a short period of time and then quickly abandon. I’ve tried to do something different for almost ten years and it has worked good for me. If you want to try the traditional type of New Year’s Resolutions, then I highly recommend reading this:
I have plans to make my traditional New Year’s Resolutions. I am just a bit behind. I was a bit behind last year as well, didn’t post them until January 17th. When I noticed that last week I thought, oh well that’s alright, I’m not going to be that far off the mark this year either.
Well in preparation of my resolutions post I have been reviewing the previous resolutions that I had posted to my blog. I will probably post about that review tomorrow and think that should help me quite a bit towards writing out my new list. 🙂
“When you have learned something from the incident, it’s not a failure anymore.”
~ my brother Terry
This is to let you all know that I am participating this year in the Company for Christmas blog/chat. I have my chat page up now and if anyone wants to stop by to say hello and perhaps chat, if they have time, I will be there for the next four hours this morning. I will also be back there this evening about six pm onwards. Stop by and say hi and visit if you have the time.
The purpose of the Company for Christmas blog is to provide a safe space for the wordpress community to go to chat and be with someone through this holiday time.
Here is my link:
If you miss me there at the times I will be there, consider stopping by there and looking to see what chats are open at any time. They are listed on the right hand side of the screen.
I have been told to mention that you should follow their blog, and you can just unfollow after you are done chatting, so that the responses will update for you automatically and you won’t need to keep refreshing your page all the time, since the chatting is going on in the blog pages and the comments sections instead of in a chat room.
Again here are a couple of my resource pages for holiday coping:
The world is what you make of it, friend. If it doesn’t fit, you make alterations.
~ Stella, played by Linda Hunt, in the movie Silverado.
Life is the great experiment. Each of us is an experiment of one– observer and subject– making choices, living with them, recording the effects.
The greatest gift that we can to give ourselves is the same level of love and devotion that we shower onto others.
As a survivor of ritual abuse there are yearly anniversary trigger dates that are particularly hard for me. It’s always amazing to me that no matter how much I don’t pay attention to the calendar, my body and our system seems to keep track of it very well.
I know from past experiences that I get a little spacey, more dissociative. Still the dissociation is usually strong enough for it not to click into my mind, oh yeah here comes another date that is difficult for us.
It usually starts about ten days before the date. I will have trouble remembering what day it is of the month and it keeps happening day after day, no matter how much effort I put into knowing the date the day before. I think it was somewhat worse this time, because I had recently done several health appointments that were stressful and exhausting, coupled with a cold. I think the cold was brought on by the anniversary trigger date. That’s fairly common for me as well, for the stress to make me sick.
Finally I’ll put it together in my mind a few days beforehand. Then I just plan on taking that day easy, getting as much sleep as I can, and taking as gentle care as possible. I read as much as I wanted to, saw one of my favorite movies, took bike rides, spent fun time with doggie, and ate chocolate mug cake with chocolate ice cream. I’d really like to be able to celebrate the changing of the seasons on these dates, but in the meantime I am happy that I am able to celebrate myself by taking good and gentle care of us.
As a wonderful bonus I get to go to a parade on Friday and fireworks on Saturday, unless there is rain. I am looking forward to both.
The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for May had two posts on the topic of inner child healing work. It’s something that I see the need for and want to do more in my life. I have been thinking that so much of our childhood was stolen from us by those who abused us and used us to do the emotional, intellectual, and sexual roles that were the jobs of adults.
It was hard for me to be a child and to act like a child most of my childhood. I couldn’t be happy or playful or loud without drawing my mother’s attention and abuse (Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse). I couldn’t be a child. I learned to be stone-faced, to act as though I felt nothing and to express nothing, to be quiet, to be alone, in order to be safe from her. I learned to hide.
I learned that my toys and dollies would be used as weapons against me. I learned that love would cost me. I learned that loving something would be noticed by my abuser and used as coercion. I learned that my heart could be broken and I could walk away from the only dollie that I ever loved when the mother abuser held her hostage and debased her. I gave my heart to no other toy until I was older and I felt they were safer, after the mother-daughter sexual abuse had stopped.
As an older child and teenager I had a lot of dollies, a lot of stuffies. I still do. I have them. I love them. I just don’t hold them much. I’m sure that there are many insiders who would like to hold dollie.
I’ve been thinking of a lot lately about the healing work that I need to do for myself and our system. It is very difficult for me to find the time and energy to do so. I love all my inners, but have to admit to being overwhelmed with health and mental health issues much of the time.
However it is essential for healing for me to assist and help others inside in their own needs, hopes, dreams, issues to help us all in healing. It helps in my healing work to post on a topic and then to go back and forth while working on it, getting support and feedback, talking to my best friends on the phone, posting again and again. I need and value the interactions. It helps move me along in my healing and in my healing work.
Child inners were created for good reasons and they need to be allowed to be children. I have a lot of trouble letting them out to be kids. I get self-conscious. I get embarrassed. I get conflicted and humiliated that I don’t manage all this better. To try to be fair to myself, this all is overwhelming and demanding and hard work. I really wish that I did this all better. I will be working on that.
There are lots of things I’d like to do, but where I live right now, without a lot of privacy, I feel the need to put off some things. However some other things I want to start doing now or in the near future.
One thing that I have done in the last few months is to turn over the healing quotes listings to the Littles and the Teens, who alternate every month. They like that a lot. They tend to pick quotes that I wouldn’t pick out and it gives the blog an added flavor. I like it. I do also post some of my own quote choices, here and there. I loved picking out some of the healing quotes on my birthday on the topics of books and reading.
I have dollies and stuffies sitting on my bed near me where I face while sleeping. They tend to fall off the side of the bed. Sometimes I tend to forget to get them out, stuck between the bed and the wall. Yesterday I dragged them out and put them on the bed again. I noticed that it isn’t often that we hold dollies or stuffies. I decided that is not a good thing. Since I have a private bedroom that no one else is allowed into, I have privacy and safety in here. So tonight we were holding dollie. More to come.