Sharing During My Birthday Month

For my birthday month I intended on sharing more about myself and more about things that I love. I wanted to include some surprises and some gifts, sometimes they were in the same posts. But that is not over with. I will be working on these things definitely through the rest of my birthday month. And don’t really expect that to stop there.

I tried to do that with my tumblr color blogs and in sharing about how colors have impacted my life and how that I love them and ways that they have impacted my life.

I think that my tumblr color blogs really represent me, a piece of my own aesthetic sensibility and our artistic/creative selfhood and creative expressions. I’m not very comfortable, at all, talking about my creative and artistic endeavors.

I have felt completely at ease sharing my poetry here. I guess I had put that in another category in my mind. I guess I put poetry under the healing process category and I feel comfortable sharing those creative expressions in poetry because of that. But really all of my creative and artistic work is a part of my healing process, because everything that I do is a part of my healing process and has been for a really, really long time. I just hadn’t noticed that.

So expect to see more of my efforts to share about my creative process and my healing process through creative and artistic work into the future.

I am an artist. I know that now. It took me a long time to get to there. I totally deserve the title. I had all these rigid rules for myself, while giving everyone else the title, even if they didn’t make one single piece of artistic expression that they could point to. If no one else knows it, I know it now. If no one else is safe to share with, I share with myself now. I am an artist.

 

My Creative/Artistic Self and Dysfunctional Family Stuff

My family has never been supportive of my artistic or creative work. After a long period of that, being diminished and ignored, I really would not look to them to be supportive, loving, kind, or good about anything that I really care about. I tend to share less and less as the years have gone by and I have to say they don’t seem to notice that I don’t share about my heart and what fills me with joy with them. Since that is so important to me and to my life, it makes it hard a lot of the time to find something to talk about, since so much of it is private and needs to be protected from them.

One time I did try to describe the inner creative process to one of my brothers and he burst out laughing and after my asking him repeatedly to share what he found funny and why, he made fun of me and the way that I had chosen to talk about my collage artwork.

I really have to admit that he broke my heart. That’s my family… and that in no way is diminishing how much he and they have hurt me and hurt my heart. That’s my family… they break my heart. Interacting with them means being self-protective of my life, myself, my creative self, my thoughts, my emotions, my beliefs, and so much more.

Sometimes it just leaks out of me, and I can’t stop myself from sharing, and it doesn’t go good and it doesn’t lead to good. It’s sad to me that sometimes I can’t stop myself or us from sharing things with our family and that it leads to more pain, more hurt, and more of a broken heart. It’s so sad to me that this is my family.

I don’t tolerate anything from my sister and when I started seeing her again almost three years ago, after not associating with her for almost ten years,  I promised myself that I was not going to endure another incident of emotional/verbal abuse from her and that if it happened I would never see her again. She hasn’t. Bizarrely she hasn’t. But I can’t talk to her about all the pain that she has caused me and how all that pain is still inside of me/us and how much it still hurts and how she derailed my life, many times, and made it so hard for me to have self-respect or self-love, because she undermined and humiliated me and verbally/emotionally abused me all my life and how my mother was my primary abuser and bully and how my sister was her toady, until I cut her out of my life. Part of her doesn’t know, part of her doesn’t care, part of her loves being clueless, part of her loved and still loves being both of our parents favorite little girl, part of her has cut me off when I’ve tried to explain in the past, and part of her would hurt if I tried to talk to her about it all now. I know, because I have tried.

One of my other brothers routinely makes fun of me, the things that I say, my politics, my beliefs, facts that I relate from studies, if I have to pause while finding the right words, etc, etc, etc. I limit him in my life, but even a little bit means emotional and verbal abuse. He only gets a little bit of me. After a few conversations in the last couple months I have decided to start hanging up on him again, it is the only way to have a healthy boundary with him.

The worst part of this all is that these are the two brothers who have the most interactions with me in my life right now. They have collectively done the most for me and at different times been my best support. They wound me and that is the best I am getting. Saying no means absolutely nothing.

My brother that shouts at me on the phone refuses to stop shouting at me, insulting me, demeaning me, misrepresenting me, and mischaracterizing me, no matter what I say to him. If I thought the things about him that he thinks about me, I would never have anything to do with that kind of person, I would hate that kind of person, I certainly would not have even one phone conversation with them.

I know all of it is lies, but it makes me wonder why he feels the need to be thinking so little of me and still associate with me. I don’t want to have anything to do with him, but then he acts like he cares about me, but then turns around and treats me like excrement. I know he finds it highly enjoyable, but I don’t. He is going to get the click on the phone line the next time we talk, if he goes there.

Art Therapy & Creative Healing Projects 16

Crayon Painting

Yarn Painting

DIY Calm Bottle

Suspended Bead Calm Bottle

Kinetic Sand Self Portraits

Morse Code Bracelet

Clay Beads for M.C. Bracelet

6 Art Exercises:

Inner Child Art

Affirmation Cards

Love Letter to Self

Safety Boxes

Buddha Board

Create Vision Board

Paint a Self Portrait

Inner & Outer Self Masks

10 Art Therapy Techniques:

Create a Dream Guardian

Craft a Memory Rock

Create a Guisseppe Arcimboldo

Paint a Mirror or Window

Journal Entry into Art

Draw Your Spirit Animal

Art Therapy & Creative Healing Projects Archive

Art Therapy & Creative Healing Projects 15

Make a Grounding Box

Love Catchers instead of Dream Catchers

Art Therapy to Destress Ideas:

Design a Postcard

Cut & Paste a Painting

Draw in Total Darkness

Watercolor Your Bodily State

Make a Permission Slip

Forgiveness Box for Self

An Altar/Totem to Self/Child Self

20 Art Therapy Activities:

String Prayer/Meditation Beads

Draw in Response to Music

Collage from Quote

Color Your Feelings

Map of Your Heart

Rake Beach Sand

Create Potable Affirmation or Quote

Chalk Pain Writing, then Wash Away

Art Therapy & Creative Healing Projects Archive

Art Therapy and Creative Healing 14

Treasure Bag

Your Birthday Tree

Garden Hose Labyrinth

Easy Silkscreen Tutorial

Make a Star Medal

Recycled Custom Trophies

Child with Crown Wood Transfer

Richard Shilling’s Land Art Blog

Goldworthy Inspired Nature Art

Land Art

Nature Art

Beach Land Art

Forest Land Art

Winter Land Art

Outdoor Fall Land Art

Coffee Table Rock Art

Using Art for Healing

Art Therapy Process (Painting)

Recovery Rituals in Art Therapy

Art Therapy Benefits for Sexually Abused Adults

Benefits of Art Therapy for Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Art Therapy and Creative Healing Projects Archive

Art Therapy & Creative Healing 14 (Crafts for Comfort)

Neck Pillow

Neck Pillows

Make a Fort

Make a “Cool” Tie

This is great to wear when you are upset, it cools you down and helps you focus on breathing and relaxing once again.

Fox Stuffie

Giraffe Stuffie

Elephant Stuffie

Hug Me Teddy Bear

Cute Monster Stuffie

Chenille Bear Stuffie

Sew a Simple Doll

Whimsical Pillows

Make a Lace Crown

I think it’s always good to remind ourselves that we deserve to walk around with a crown.

Chenille Baby Blanket

Make Your Own Slippers

Make your own comfy slippers by re-purposing some old thick fabric.

Make a Weighted Blanket

A weighted blanket has been found to be comforting and calming for someone with ADHD or autism. Similarly some survivors are finding them very healing. I have heard some say it is like having a hug, when you need touch but are on sensory overload and/or don’t trust others enough to ask for or to accept touch. This is a tutorial to make a weighted blanket, buying one is a lot of money, making one sounds like a great idea to me.

Tshirt Into a Drawstring Bag

Great to have some quick comfort items in and leave it hung on a hook, easy to remember and grab when you need a little comfort.

Indoor/Outdoor Exercise Mat

Deconstructed Doll Milagro Necklace

Art Therapy and Creative Healing Projects Archive

Art Therapy and Creative Healing 11

Drawing Lessons

Using Colored Pencils

Colored Pencil Art

5 Basic Pen & Ink Techniques

How to Draw a Mandala

Create a Mind Map

Whimsical Art

How to Use Pastels

Pen & Ink Materials

Painting Lessons

Painting with Acrylics

How to Paint Abstract Art

How to Watercolor

Abstract Watercolor Painting

Pastel Drawing and Painting

Mixed Media Art

Journaling Prompts

Experiments Book

Altered Cigar Box

Paint a Prayer

Make a Creativity Box

Keep a Favorites Journal

Make a Journal Jar

Make a Goal Board

Fabric Collage

Emotion Painting

Caribbean Foot Jewelry

Caribbean Hand Jewelry

Hand Photos: A Project 365

Art Therapy and Creative Healing Projects Archive