I have a lot of pet peeves. I mean a lot. They are focused on people and the way that they act and treat others. The big cruelties and abuses are beyond a pet peeve level. But the small cruelties and abuses by people to others, that really gets me angry and upset.
I had decided a few months ago to write about my pet peeves and all the little ways that people let me and my expectations down and how much rage and anger I have about that. I don’t know if that will help. I’ve tried to process some of this stuff in the past and I’ll write about that too. It hasn’t been very successful, but I’ve tried and I’ve tried to approach things from other angles. I will write about that as well.
Let me be brutally honest here, I hate people. If it wasn’t for the fact that I love people, and love them so endearingly and so steadfastly I would hate all of them all of the time for all their selfish, rude, nasty, behavior and treatment of others. Yes I hate people for their sexual abuses, their racism, sexism, misogyny, hatred, crimes, atrocities, cruelty, war, greed, ableism, and so many other abuses. But I also love them. We love them with a huge and abiding love. And then of course we hate them for all of our pet peeves that they perpetrate on me and others while I am watching. It’s a lot of confusing and it’s a lot of anger.
Some times I get really riled up about my pet peeves. It is usually then that I remind myself of one character from the original show The Twilight Zone. I don’t know which episode it is, but I saw it many, many years ago, when an adult and before that when I was a kid as well.
It is about a guy who is mean, nasty, difficult, lacking in humanity, who wishes for people to be more like him. He wakes up to find every man, woman, and child have turned into him. They all look like him and act exactly like him. They are all hateful, and mean, and vicious, and have no patience or love for one another. It is hell on earth.
Now I don’t want to be that person and sometimes I think that it is important to remind myself of that character and to remember that whatever others choose to do or not to do, I get to choose what I do with my own life and how I choose to act. I am the captain of my ship.