I rode my bike and went somewhere each day for five days in a row this week. This is huge news and I wanted to share it. I suppose that hasn’t happened in more than three years, when my health got so much worse than it had been. I think that was mostly due to my undiagnosed gall bladder issues, but it effected my whole body, increased my level of pain, and caused me to have a huge increase in walking and standing pain and difficulties.
Actually I probably haven’t done it that many days in a row since the summer that I moved into this apartment complex. Back then I didn’t have air conditioning and absolutely had to get out of this heat box building at least a few hours each day.
It was a real challenge and seriously I didn’t think that I would be able to do it. But the tenant below me is still here and I really wanted to get away from her each day during this week, so I was highly motivated to avoid her for at least a few hours each day. Being this active has caused a deep increase in back and leg pain, especially going down into my left knee, a key issue for many years.
I know that I share about my health and my health limitations, but I don’t think that I have shared about how hard and restrictive things have been. Being vague works better for me. It’s hard for me to share here when I don’t get the support from my family, my community, and public and private spaces that I do go to. I know from experience that my blog friends, over the years, have never mistreated me or treated me badly, but I get it from so many areas of my life, it makes it hard for me to share anywhere, even here, about specifics.
When I share with my family I don’t get support or help for my limitations, even when I ask explicitly for a reasonable accommodation. I get sneered at. I get jeered at. I get insulted and diminished. They say they love me, which I really doubt based on their treatment of me, and then they act like I should not be disabled or need help or assistance or accommodation or equal rights. They suck, I know.
It’s that they suck so bad and that I’ve had so many experiences out in public, in public spaces, in shopping places, and everywhere, all that time, that reinforce that others don’t care and even though it is the law, they either refuse to comply with the disability laws or they act like I and others are not asking for equal rights and equal access, but rather are asking for extra rights and extra access and they believe they have a right to deny us that. And again it is against the law. So many people out there suck and feel that I don’t deserve reasonable and legal accommodation be made for my disabilities. It’s hard for me to share about this and how much it restricts my life. I hate that so much, but I also know that if others cared and did things to give me access and accommodation, then my life would be so much easier and so much happier.