A New Therapist

Well I’ve got a new therapist. I am very happy with her. I have seen her five times now. It is a short-term kind of therapy, so I might only be able to see her for six months or so, so I am trying to be very happy and grateful for what I have right now and to use my time with her wisely.

I am trying to work on the things that I want to work on in therapy and stay focused on that. I especially want to spend some time in therapy dealing with being a mother-daughter sexual abuse survivor, including all the ways that she abused me and it’s impact in my life, the blockages that has created in my functioning, and how it continues to trigger me still.

It has been over ten years since I first started remembering the mother-daughter sexual abuse, and I have seen three other therapists in that time. But none of them helped me to heal from mother-daughter sexual abuse, and in fact, they actually all made things much much worse by the ways that they treated me.

The first therapist expressed feelings and words of compassion towards my mother. I did not want to sit through that. I hated that, especially since she did not ever express feelings or words of admiration or compassion towards me. I thought that it just wasn’t her thing, until I tried to deal with mother-daughter sexual abuse in therapy sessions with her and she started saying compassionate things about the person who I have always considered a monster. I had seen her for over a year before I started talking about the MDSA, so I had thought that I knew what kind of therapist that she was. It really hurt me to see that she felt and expressed that about her and not me, not ever me. I felt very betrayed and after several more sessions, told her that I needed to try to see someone who know about this type of abuse.

The second therapist was the first DBT therapist that I saw. Although she knew about the mother-daughter sexual abuse and although I had said it was important to me to deal with that and to try to work on that in therapy. Every time that I would start trying to mention my mother she would interrupt me and change the topic immediately. This happened every time. She always had a look of fear in her eyes when she did this. Since there were so many issues with her as a therapist, a DBT therapist, and her severe lacking as a human being I did not stay long in therapy with her. Doing DBT with her shut me down emotionally for several years.

The third and last therapist was also a DBT therapist. She announced to me during session one day that we had already agreed that during the year of DBT therapy I would not be doing any memory healing work, at all. Except I had never agreed to that. This was very problematic, especially since it was against my understanding of DBT therapy and I was still having flashbacks every day and was having a huge amount of trouble in my daily functioning, none of which DBT was helping.

My new therapist is very knowledgeable, caring, communicates caring, and interacts in a way that assists me in healing and learning and coping. I really really like her, a lot.

12 thoughts on “A New Therapist

    • Hi,

      I suppose the kind of therapy she gives could be classified under cognitive-behavioral, though she is much more compassionate and proves her knowledge much more than anyone I have seen in the past who leaned heavily towards that giving that type of therapy. I am trying to focus on working on mother-daughter sexual abuse connections by talking about it and learning new skills.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  1. I am so glad that you have found a compassionate, understanding healing advocate. You are so dedicated to healing–you deserve someone who can truly support you in that work. I am very grateful to the universe for bringing this therapist to you. Much love to you, Kate.

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    • Hi David,

      It really has been a nice gift from the universe. 🙂 I am working a lot in my daily life in conjunction with what we are doing in therapy and I will continue to believe in healing. Thanks so much for your kind words.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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    • Thank you Granny. I am proud of me too. I was very lucky, in that I was able to get some therapy through the women’s shelter that I stayed at and that it will continue for months and in the kind of therapist she is. I am trying to write things and bring them in to therapy to read, so that I do talk about MDSA, because it is so hard to stay focused to share so much that was horrible from my childhood. It’s so easy not to talk about her.

      Thank you for your love and support. 🙂 It means so much.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  2. I can’t believe how stupid the first three therapists were! They each handled the abuse in their own shitty way. Absolutely unexcusable for a therapist to not understand how to treat abuse issues!! I’m so glad you are with someone who understands how to help you along your healing trajectory.

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    • Hi Butterfly,

      I agree with you. There was no reason that they should have treated me in that manner. I have, unfortunately, found therapists who supposedly were knowledgeable and competent to treat survivors of child sexual abuse who never exhibited their knowledge or competency. I do think and believe that having a good therapist, that is a good fit and a good match for me, will help me tremendously in my healing work, as I have always believed.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  3. I’m so glad to see more and more people speaking out against DBT. I was traumatised after doing a 9 month course, I do believe I have some kind of PTSD after doing it. I began to SH again and my dissociation got worse. I became an unthinking and unfeeling robot and every time I wanted to talk about the abuse I was shut down and told to apply my ‘skills’. I felt like a child again, that I was just learning more ways to block things out.

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