About My Ex-Friend

Today I thought of you. A couple of days ago I thought of you. Most days I don’t. A couple of days ago I was out at the coffeeshop, enjoying myself, and the thought of you occurred to me. I thought I don’t usually think of you, not at all. That was all, just a comment to myself, you are not noteworthy in my mind.

Today I thought of you. I thought of how we had been friends for eight years, and how you had always told me that I was the only person in your life who had ever been good to you, except one relative. And I thought how could you be so cruel to me and not be my friend anymore. I wasn’t sad, not one little bit, just puzzled, cause I really deserved your loyalty and friendship.

10 thoughts on “About My Ex-Friend

    • Thank you. I am at a place in my life where I know that I deserved better from her. It took me a long time to get there and I am proud of my healing progress.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  1. thats just awful, and im sure many of us have dealt with the same issues. i have had ‘friends’ suddenly cut me off, say they just cant handle being my friend anymore. no reason, just suddenly i am alone. im sorry you have had this also, but you are right, you did deserve their friendship, and you shouldnt be sad, but instead puzzled.

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  2. Hey there, Kate
    It is good that you have been able to get past some of the hurt she caused you. I have recently in the last two years sort of withdrawn from any friendships or making new ones because the church I was in before was so scared I was going to seduce everyone. They said if you make friends dont talk about anything personal, dont be alone together, keep it very superficial. So I did- very nice that isnt it, very proper, very bloody useless. It didn’t help me in my growth or self worth one bit. So anyway dispite trying to do this I made one good friend who also has DID and it was so helpful to be able to share stuff and talk about our sameness, we kind of bonded- which is special for me because I dont just bond with anyone. Anyway she told me 3 months ago that because I have reciently decided that I am okay and God is okay with me being Gay that she cant be friends with me anymore. It goes against her position as a christian to keep being my friend. Swell aint it. I guess what I am saying is I am sorry you had a friend just up and leave you, sorry she didnt explain. Sometimes it is better if they don’t and most times it is more about them and their issues than yours/ my issues. I hope this doesnt keep you from making more friends in the future, dont let her make you unsure of yourself as a friend. Good thing you still know that you deserve friendship and loyalty.

    Much love and respect~Brazen

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    • Hi Brazen,

      Thank you. I didn’t write about it here, but in an earlier post, some about what the issues were between us, but it really isn’t something I write about in much detail on the blog. And because of the way she was treating me it was easy to realize that we were not friends anymore and that I did not have to tolerate it. Here is where I wrote about it: A Friend Lost.

      I’m sorry that you went through that at a church and with a friend. I am a Christian and someone who is an ally to the glbtq community. Love is love.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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      • Thanks Kate for being an ally!! Your friendship with her sounds a lot like mine that |I lost. We had so much pain in common, but sometimes perhaps when you link up with someone over pain it can be only for a season. strange that. Some friendships do last hopefully you will have some better ones- thanks again for your kindness!

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  3. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever. Sad but true. You have done well to get past the hurt and try to remember the good. The ending of the relationship is not the whole relationship.

    Granny

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    • Hi Granny,

      I understand what you are saying, in my head, but in my heart I know that over time she killed everything between us that was good. I can’t think of one untainted thing or memory of her that makes me feel happy or good. Her cruelties towards me at the end really define it all. That hasn’t always been true in other relationships, but because I shared so much with her and believed she knew me so well and yet she could treat me so cruelly, it makes me doubt everything.

      Kate

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