The Snow’s Coming Down

The weather forecasts one inch. It started about four pm this afternoon when I was at the chiropractor’s office. I was so lucky catching a bus back home, it came about two minutes after I got to the bus stop. I stopped at the grocery store, got some stuff, and biked home from there. It was cold, and I was glad to get home and get in the warmth. But the snow falling down was lovely to watch.

A lot of sad stuff came up, around my family during Christmas week, especially when one of my brothers did not have time to see me, not even for a meal or an hour, but he did have time to spend with my emotionally abusive sister and Christmas at her house. There have been times when he only spent an hour or so with me on Christmas Eve, and even one year when all he did was drop off a couple of presents. Yes presents are lovely. But I know that he is spending hours and hours with others in my family, others who are emotionally abusive to me. That makes me very sad to see how others are chosen over me.

The brother that I lived with three years ago in the other state has tried to reconcile somewhat with me over the last two years. Not that we have a great relationship. But I know that he loves me, and while he is a deeply flawed person, he knows that I love him. He took me out to dinner the weekend before Christmas. Unfortunately his topics of choice seem to be provoking and non-rational, while trying to make a rational argument, so it is a challenge to cope and talk with him. Still, I value the attempt he is making.

I spent part of Christmas with one of my brothers. I had a lovely lovely time. It was so wonderful to be able to spend part of the day with him. What made it even more special is that he is the one who asked to get together on Christmas, instead of me having to ask to see him on a day around Christmas week. That is rare in my life. We sat and talked for a long time. We watched A Christmas Story. We love that movie! We ate a lovely meal together that my brother had made. It is nice to be around a family member who is not demeaning, insulting, hurting, and scapegoating me.

I’m doing a good job of coping with the aftermath/hangover after Christmas. Some years it is pretty awful when I had increased health problems and more restrictions on what I can do and can’t be active or even do many home activities. I have tried this year to do a lot more and to include a lot more different things to do. Still, I didn’t get through all the things that we wanted to do, music, TV specials, movies, activities, etc etc etc. I decided to continue with Christmas celebrations for the Twelve Days of Christmas, from Christmas until Epiphany, January 6th. One of the goals of The Littles is to color in some of our coloring books. I am trying to give them their goal, among others, during the 12 days.

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