In Through the Out Door

I’ll admit it, I like to go in through the out door at the grocery store. It is right by the bike rack and I don’t have to walk without a cart, which I really need to lean on, and I don’t have to stay outside in the cold longer in order to walk over to the entrance door.

Of course I wait for anyone who is trying to exit, even though there is room for two carts to go in and out at the same time, I wait. The out door is a double door so it can take some time to get through, what with others standing around or stopping  in the way. But I wait anyway. That’s me, nice and polite. I see others entering through the out door as well. I’m not the only person who likes to swim against the stream.

Since I’ve recently posted about my issues of being pushed around, blocked, and bossed around by others here I have been thinking about ways to deal with that. David suggested ” before leaving your house, really focusing on envisioning yourself surrounded by an energy shield or personal space force field.” That is something that I used to do, but sometimes forget, and often don’t feel I am doing an effective job of it when I do.

On Tuesday I was planning on going to the library and the grocery store. I was online reading blog posts. I was reading Granny’s post The Magic Capes about her sewing magic capes for her grandsons. She writes about using a cape to feel big, strong, and safe. I decided to try to create an invisible cape to wrap around me before I left home.

So I was on my bike riding to the store and went over to the bike rack, locked my bike, went in through the first door, got a cart, and was waiting for a woman to exit the second door so I could enter the store. Two men were behind her, not right behind her, but I decided to wait for them to exit as well.

This old man had a cart with nothing in it. He blocked the door and then just stood there, squinting and staring at me. I was getting a little irate with him. There is no reason to stand there blocking me. I started moving my cart forward and he looked at me and said, you can’t do that.

Here is the thing, I am willing to be nice and polite, so long as someone deserves that from me. I’m not usually rude, especially not to someone who is older than me. I passed him and then said, I can do whatever I want. What are you going to do, stop me, big boy? He didn’t say anything else. I felt so strong.

When I was getting ready to leave the store a customer servive employee was explaining to two customers, there are two doors, this one is an entrance and you can only enter, you can’t exit through it, but this other one you can exit or enter through it, whatever you want. Yeah, what she said.

Someone was bossing me around and I told them, I can do whatever I want. I don’t think that I have ever, in my whole life, said something like that to someone.

I was feeling pretty damn proud. My invisible cloak was flapping in the wind pretty strongly right about then. I drew it around me and felt warm.

8 thoughts on “In Through the Out Door

  1. “I was feeling pretty damn proud. My invisible cloak was flapping in the wind pretty strongly right about then. I drew it around me and felt warm.” — that was such a lovely paragraph to read. i’m glad the experience allowed you to reveal your strength to others &, most importantly, yourself.

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    • Hi,

      Thank you. It was great. Even nicer was the next visit to the store with my cloak with no one trying to boss me around or touch me or make me move. I like being nice and polite, but I like taking care of myself more.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  2. Hey Kate,

    Wow, what a strong statement from that guy to just stand there and tell you that you can’t do something. Way to go (times one thousand) for standing up for yourself.

    “I was feeling pretty damn proud. My invisible cloak was flapping in the wind pretty strongly right about then. I drew it around me and felt warm.”

    I can’t imagine a better description for the empowerment and warmth you must have felt.

    Take good care,
    Brittany

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    • Hi Brittany,

      Yes I agree with you. I wonder who and what someone is for them to feel free to boss around other people. As one co-worker told me if someone is a jerk and they are old, trust me they were a jerk when they were a young adult as well. It would have felt more normal if a woman was trying to boss me around, everyone is used to their mother bossing them around. An old man is not someone that I feel any type of societal pressure to be good to if they are not acting good towards others.

      It was nice to go out again and practice with my invisible magic cape. Even better to have no one try to boss me around. Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

      Like

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