On Connectedness and Healing

Well I certainly have lots of proof that working on connectedness in a personalized manner is working for me. There have always been things that worked, though they were not grounding skills.

Grounding as described was more about sensory things, a connection to my body when it was upset and hyperalert, and a grounding to the earth. Those things are not things that work the best for me. And often they have been things that incite panic, even to the point of having a panic attack.

Working on connectedness has helped me to honor my own intuitive and gut feelings about what worked as a child, as a teen, as a young adult, and today and yesterday. Being able to see that and to ferret out some more skills that I have used and to explore more skills has really helped put me on the right path.

Understanding that I already had a good bunch of skills let me feel much more confident about who I was, where I was, and where I was going. It has significantly helped me to increase my sense of self-esteem, safety, and sense of self and home in the last three months.

It has helped me to learn how to be a leader in our system and how to care for all of us in a healthier, happier, and more healing manner.

It has given me the realisation that I am so connected to so many things and that my life is so much better, right now, than I ever imagined. It has been the opening of the new path and the new life for me and I am so excited. I am walking into the second half of my life.

I will be finishing up my posts on this connectedness series by the end of this month, though my connectedness work will not end there, it is really just the beginning. A beginning with a solid foundation. I am really happy and really proud of all the work that I have done.

2 thoughts on “On Connectedness and Healing

  1. Hi Kate,
    I wasn’t able to connect much to body sensations for the first several years without immediate emotional (fear) flashbacks, usually dissociated from the other information about the incidents. I’m wondering if that’s what’s going on for you? Just a thought.

    It worked for me to get a ‘toehold’ into reclaiming my body from the abuse, to find some safe place to focus attention on in my body (in my case, the soles of my feet) for a short while and just ignore the rest at first. However, I can totally see connecting to a body full of minefields being healing work and not calming or ‘grounding’ work at first. I know my experience is way different from yours, and your ‘mileage will vary’ but 20 years later, I don’t have any body places I’m aware of that I can’t connect safely to, which means to me that I own my body.

    Blessings to you,


    • Hi SDW,

      For me, I think, that grounding doesn’t work, but connectedness that is self-designed has. Connectedness works good as a foundation, but also when upset, sad, triggered, etc. I don’t use grounding to my body in the same way you do and find it triggering, though not to the point of flashbacks, and that it does the opposite of what it is supposed to do. I don’t think that the grounding techniques are bringing up fear or body memories associated with the flashbacks, but I don’t have any evidence of that. It doesn’t feel that way.

      Doing self-care on my body has helped me a great deal to connect to my body and to “occupy” it. It is not grounding, but it seems to work for me. Though I am sure that I am not at the stage of healing you are. I am so happy that you are able to do that. It sounds great. You have a lot to be proud of in that healing work. I do believe that I will get there.

      Thanks so much for being here and leaving a comment. It means so much to us. Good and healing thoughts to you.



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