Connectedness to the Mother

Being a mother-daughter sexual abuse survivor means, for me, that I have been disconnected from my mother all of my life. She was not a safe person to be connected to. She never loved me and I always knew it. She was violent and sexually abusive. I don’t want to ever be connected to her.

But I am working on being connected to the mother.

One of my sister-in-law’s was a great mother. Unfortunately her kids had my brother as their father. He was loud and verbally abusive. She was a great mother, but she could not make my brother be a great father. Still it is a model to me of what good a woman can do for her child daily by being a good person and a good mother.

Some time ago I became aware of a connection to the earth as my mother. I am still very uncomfortable and afraid about this connection. I tend to avoid it. I know that is not very healthy; letting my fears overwhelm my desire to continue working on the connection. But it is the truth. Unfortunately my fears sometimes ovewhelm me. I will try to do better and focus on the connection to help me with life and healing.

I have always felt a strong connectedness to my ancestors. So I suppose through them I am able to connect to mothering through my male and female ancestors who having mothering qualities.

For most of my life I have been a Christian. I think that I have always been disconnected from the concept of mother in religion. Though there is one connection that has been strong since my early twenties.

There was a time in my life that I went to church a lot. I read the Bible a lot and studied and knew many others who went to church. One Bible quote that I remember reading and continue to remember and think about is the one where Jesus says that God loves us like a mother loves her chicks, hovering over them, loving and protecting them. This is the God that I am connected to.

It has only been recently that I have thought much about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Since music is one of the items on my bliss list it would be natural for me to explore this through music. These two songs are helping me to feel some connection to her and from her to mother:

Ave Maria sung by Christinia England Hale

Mary sung by Patti Griffin

4 thoughts on “Connectedness to the Mother

  1. I also have connectedness issues with my mother. I remember a counselor I had over 10 years ago. I was crying to her that I could not abide by “Honor Thy Mother and Thy Father” due to the issues with mom. She recommended I look at it a different light – as the Blessed Mother and Holy Father.

    This has been a source of comfort as well as positive role model for me that has always persisted, even at my lowest times.

    Just thought I would pass it on.

    Thank you so much for the awesome post and beautiful videos.



    • Hi Nel,

      Thanks so much for sharing how that has been healing for you. I try to think of it as that as well, God as being male and female, mother and father. I’m glad that you had a counselor say that to you.

      I can’t honor my parents, not my birth parents. I believe that I honor them in direct proportion to what they deserve. It is the best I can do.

      You’re welcome. And thanks for watching the vids. Good and healing thoughts to you.



  2. Kate,

    This post has given me something to think about. I have trouble in this area as well for the same reasons as you, but I am also working to find that connection somewhere.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on it,


    • Hi Brittany,

      It took me a really long time to start exploring in this area. Due to the damage and abuse from my mother. I realized that I had a lot of hatred and fear of something that many people have so much love for. It has been very healing, though in definite stops and starts, so I really recommend being open to what the universe has to say about this and listen to yourself and your feelings.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.



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