If you are a survivor of childhood trauma and abuse and you are successful in your grounding methods and find them helpful and healing, I commend and congratulate you. I am so happy for you. I believe you are in the minority.
So many survivors do not do grounding easily. So many are triggered and wounded by doing grounding methods. So many try, but get judged and shamed when their efforts are not successful. So many are told that it is the way to cope and the way to work on being aware and being in the present moment. So many are told that if they only continue working on things that don’t work, it will eventually start working.
Grounding has never been fluid or easy for me. Many, sometimes most grounding methods, have been triggering, even to the point of re-emerging panic attacks, which I had mananaged to previously control and not have for some years.
The first therapist I worked with tried to get me to do meditation. I wish that I could have done it. I wish that it would have gone good, but it didn’t. Other therapists have only made this situation much worse.
One demanded that I do breathing exercises, even when I told her that I could not, to the point of triggering me into the re-emerging of panic attacks, which I had mananaged to previously control and not have for some years. She was the first DBT therapist that I saw.
I have concluded that some survivors can do grounding, being connected to the ground or earth and/or to their bodies or an object or activity. I think that’s great.
I don’t. I can’t. It is not good, for me. It is not healing, for me. It is not connecting. I don’t like grounding to the ground. But I do it, usually every day. I do a daily grounding cord exercise and I don’t like it. I don’t feel good about it. It does not feel healing or healthy. Here is a link to an article that includes an explanation of the method I use:
After working on healing for over 25 years, I am finally able to work on being connected to my body. Though this is not my primary method of connecting. It is one way, but just in it’s infancy and is not effective yet.
So basically I have stopped calling what I do as grounding and to stop working on anything that I call grounding. Recently I decided what I need, and perhaps what other survivors need as well, is connectedness. Connectedness is a more custom fit method that I am using to work on healing and coping with being a survivor of child sexual abuse.
I finally figured out that I had a lot of discomfort, anxiety, fear and terror with grounding to something that is not right for me to connect to. Well, I’ve always known that, even when I said it and it was denied, I knew it, I just couldn’t say it as strongly as I can now. This has sent me on a trek to find things to connect to that did not bring out the discomfort, anxiety, fear, and terror. I will be posting about each area that I am working on in the next week or so.