Seriously Dude, Really?

I was at the library recently, standing near the check-out desk, looking at the used books for sale. There was this woman with a young son and he was running rampant. He was about four. He was laughing non-stop and getting behind the counter, which got him some stern words from the librarian.

Basically she kept asking the same question over and over and they kept answering her and it wasn’t good enough, apparently, because she wouldn’t leave or watch her child.

He came up behind me and slapped me on my outer thigh. Being touched is one of my triggers. I got, well, very very mad. He was laughing. I yelled at him. It was obvious what he had done because I said so. I said, you don’t get to slap me. You don’t get to touch other people. It’s not funny.

The mother did nothing. Seriously dude, really? How can you just stand there and say nothing? Nothing?!  That got me madder.

If she had only said I’m sorry I would have stopped talking after the first sentence. If only she had gotten ahold of him and acted like it was wrong I would have stopped. Seriously dude, really? I don’t get your mothering.

Finally she said to him, yes, she is right, you don’t get to touch other people.

I’ve known a lot of kids and seen a lot more in my life, but never had a child come into my life who thought it was okay to go up to a stranger adult and slap them. Seriously dude, really? What kind of parenting is that?

8 thoughts on “Seriously Dude, Really?

  1. That’s outrageous, Kate! I’m so glad you stood up to the kid. Children need to learn that such awful things are completely unacceptable, and the mother should be ashamed of the fact that it was a stranger to the boy, and not her, that had to point this out.

    Every time I’m in public and see children, they seem to be running around amok causing disturbances, with their parents doing nothingx it infuriates me. But I’ve yet to see a child slapping someone – that’s absolutely beyond the pale 😡

    I hope you’re doing OK in the wake of this and have not been triggered too badly.

    Take care
    Pan x

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    • Hi Pan,

      I’m okay now, thanks. I had to go sit down and calm down and work on breathing afterwards, mostly because I was still so angry. They left the library right after the incident. I did spend a couple of days at home and that seemed to help me get some equlibrium back.

      Thank you for your comment, I so appreciate it. I really did think it was beyond the pale.

      I felt bad that I found no humor in it, then or when I wrote about it. But there wasn’t any humor in it.

      We have such a pet peeve, the Littles do the most, about badly behaved children. They never get away with acting out in public or anywhere. I’ve brought them up to be such good kids, so much so that they hate being around that in public, which happens way too much.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  2. Some people’s kids!! I don’t have kids, nor do I have any tolerance for them. I probably would have thrown him into tomorrow.

    Good for you, speaking up.

    jo

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    • Hi Jo,

      Thanks.

      I have always been told that I have an attitude because I don’t have any kids. But I have plenty, they just live inside us. They have an attitude.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  3. It’s non-parenting. It’s I’m busy, I’m in a building and my kid can’t escape and other people will naturally watch him. It’s he’s bothering you, not me parenting. It’s my kid will be naturally be socialized and I don’t have to do a damn thing because it’s totally natural. It’s avoidance parenting.

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  4. Oh man, that’s hideous. I cannot imagine parenting any child like that… although may be touching other people isn’t the worst of his sins (or his mother’s).

    And yes, it’s non parenting – or “I’m too busy to parent so i tell you everything you do is great” parenting which has some equally horrible outcomes.

    Hopefully your comments made the mother think, Kate.

    Like

    • Hi Kerro,

      Thanks sweetie.

      She was very disconnected from reality, and probably her body, and so is awful at teaching her child how to treat other people. Neglectful parenting is one of those things that trigger me and makes me very mad. I don’t think people understand how damaging it is.

      I know he was young, but not too young to be taught to respect other people, and their bodies and to not hit others. I would think that was basic. I was really raised in a different world, children, no matter how they were treated or abused, were expected to be nice and obedient.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

      Like

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