The topic of anonymity came up on another DID survivor blog recently, Astrids’ Blog, see her Disclosure post; an accusation that not posting your real and full name online meant you were a liar and a faker. An accusation that did not include a real name.
I wanted to respond to this:
1) I have a blog for me, for healing, as a resource for others, for connection, to give and get support, for friendships with other survivors; not to prove something or to prove that I am telling the truth or to make sense to others or to convince someone of anything.
2) This is not a legal case in court. In no way am I required to share anything about the facts of the abuse I went through. In no way must I give up my right not to share my name. In no way must I prove what I have experienced as a child. The burden of proof is not required on a blog nor on someone who is abused. Reading a blog does not make you judge or jury. We are not in court. This is a blog.
3) There are many ways that one multiple is similar as well as different from other multiples. Comparing our differences and doing a litmus test standard is counter-productive, the opposite of healing, and not something that I will take part in, especially when the litmus test is as inaccurate and unscientific as using a full name online and being the same as someone else.
4) Other survivors choose to share their name or not for their own reasons. I respect that everyone has a right to determine what to share and when and why. I don’t share. That decision has nothing to do with my survivor friends and survivor readers.
5) I am not selling a book, I am not a therapist, nor do I have a business online, so I won’t be using my full or accurate name online. These are reasons I would consider using my name online.
6) I do not have a non-profit, yet, to help survivors of abuse and trauma. I do not have a website set up, yet, for this non-profit. I would consider using my name at some point in that process.
7) There are perverts and freaks and abusers and trollers looking to offend against others online. They are looking for attention and victims. I won’t make it easier for them to do what they like to do, i.e. hurt and offend against others. I don’t appreciate and don’t like abusers hurting multiples.
8 ) I deserve to be safe and to feel safe online, as much as possible. Every survivor of abuse has this right; to share as much as they want or not to share at all. The needs and desires of an abuser never come into the calculations of this for me. And they never will.