Truths My Mother Taught Me

She believed she was…

unloveable

ugly

defective

damaged goods

repulsive

repugnant

filthy.

She was only capable of…

 love with strings.

She was blindly jealous and hateful of…

anyone she perceived herself to be in any kind of competition with.

She hated…

me

her mother

her grandmother

women

girls

her life

herself.

She, her mother, and her mother’s mother were all sex offenders.

8 thoughts on “Truths My Mother Taught Me

  1. Sweet Kate – what a painful post. It’s like you never had a chance, if she, her mother, and her mother’s mother were all abusers. There was no way that you were going to get out of there unscathed. G-d bless you and your beautiful heart for breaking the cycle.

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    • Hi Butterfly,

      Thank you. Seeing the generational stuff shows me more than before, it really wasn’t anything about me, there was nothing I could have done to win her love, and that I was a sweet, innocent, and loveable little girl.

      As painful as it is to have been sexually abused by my mother with this huge mental programming by her, her emotional abuse, her constant need to dominate and control, and three generations of abusers + behind me, it is also hugely empowering and healing to be able to say my truth about my life, my family, and the abuses I went through, the healing path I have walked and continue to walk, the person that I am and to be witnessed by other survivors; seen, heard, and loved.

      Thank you for caring about me and us. It means so much. Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  2. Wow, Kate. I think you have mentioned before that abuse was generational in your mother’s family, but it really hit me in this post. It’s a huge burden and a great honor to be the one who breaks the cycle. You are a hero.

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    • Hi David,

      Yes that was one of her truths. She used to tell me my mother did this to me, and her mother did this to her, and there is nothing wrong with it. Even at three I knew it was wrong. I knew I would never hurt another child. It is an honor to break this cycle of mothers abusing little girls.

      It was important for me to honor my survival of a mother who was so full of hatred and rage, passed along through so many generations. You are right, I am a hero. 🙂

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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    • Hi Brittany,

      Thanks. I never really focused on the truths either. But I thought it was very important to write them out. People tell us who they think they are by their words and who they really are by their actions. They tell us what they think and what they believe, by their lives.

      The abuse really wasn’t anything about me, despite what she believed and said, it was all about her and who she was. I know the truth.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

      Like

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