Apparently I Have an Invisible Disorder Part 2

I had told my therapist about getting the disability form back with everything but the DID diagnosis on it. She told me that they might have done it because there isn’t a lot of studies done on the impact of being DID on work and that many DID people are working and productive.

But apparently they have done lots of studies on how choosing to continue an addiction is disabling and interferes with life, work, and general productivity. I know that is not true. I know the government does not conduct studies or pay someone else to conduct studies on which illnesses, health issues, addictions or mental health issues are the most disabling. And what does it matter if everyone else in a grouping of people are working, if I can’t? It doesn’t.

This was just her stupid reason. It seems incredibly unscientific to be drawing conclusions about a mental health disorder that barely anything is known about. So most of us aren’t on disability, so what?

I cannot imagine someone in their right mind contending that someone with DID, who also has PTSD or CPTSD is fine and doesn’t need healing and support and isn’t going through a huge amount of emotional pain, conscious or unconscious, from the impact of their abusive childhood. No, they might not need govenerment assistance, but they are not untouched by health and mental health challenges.

Apparently the government thinks we are superheroes. Just because we can be superheroes, does that mean we can’t get help when we need it? Would Superman not qualify for disability if he got injured or went into a depression over the early loss of his parents and his home planet? I mean really.

Many people with PTSD or CPTSD are also very productive and working. Many of them manage their daily homelifes and lives without being on disability or going to a therapist. But then some need to go to therapy and then some need to get more help and some need to have help managing and need disability. I worked full-time until I was 40.

DID is far from being the only accurate diagnosis someone gets. But when we can’t work and are disabled due to the mental health issues, only some of them will be seen as real and acceptable reasons.

I am real. All of my reasons are real. All of their reasons and reasoning is wrong and innacurate, and the opposite of rational, certainly not science.

8 thoughts on “Apparently I Have an Invisible Disorder Part 2

  1. yes you definately are real and i’m glad you arn’t letting other people make you think otherwise.
    I have never tried to apply for disability but did go to the mental health people for help last year…they knew the problems we were going through but didn’t know about ‘us’, after just two appointments i was told that i wouldn’t get any money out of the system and then the door was closed. I hadn’t gone asking for money..i’d gone because i was in desperate need of help.
    Like you i’d always worked full-time, i was 38 when i stopped and that was only because of moving area and then starting to work through the past in therapy sessions which then made life go haywire.
    I don’t think some of these people in authority will ever understand what life can be like, that we don’t want to be too ill to work and maybe if they really thought about it…if we did get help when it was desperately needed we may even get to the point more quickly when we work again.
    Who you are is real, your problems are real…i can certainly understand why you would feel so let down, please know that my thoughts are with you…


    • Hi,

      I’m sorry that you went through that. I have heard a number of horrible stories like that, unfortunately.

      No I never wanted to be that ill or to need help. It took me a long time, years and years of not working before I was able to admit how bad it was and to ask for help.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.



  2. Kate,
    Sorry to hear that they are putting you through all this but for me I had about two- three years of not working before I could get to a point where I could be functional. DID survivors are superheros but they have to do so much work to get to that point. Keep trying to get assistance from the government because you dissever it.


    • Hi,

      Thank you.

      I’m sorry you went through that. I can identify with that.

      I do have disability now. I earned it with my working for so many years.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.



  3. Hi Kate,

    This is another situation where I wish there was more scientific “evidence” on DID. So not only are we having to deal with what it’s like to live with DID, we have to defend ourselves, constantly explaining to the people that need proof. It’s exhausting and belittling and takes our focus off our healing.

    This reminds me of when I was searching for low income therapy and no services were available to me for PTSD and panic disorder (I was not aware I had DID at the time). If I had substance abuse issues though, I would have had dozens of clinics and therapists to choose from at no cost at all. There is such an imbalance when it comes to mental health.

    Really good post.



  4. There was a very interesting study done (called the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study), and they found that there are literally so many health effects later in life that could be prevented (like heart disease, cancer, etc.) if we eliminated child abuse.

    Your pain is real. Your disability is real. You are awesome.


    • Hi Butterfly,

      Thank you. I have believed that for some time, that it’s impact on health was severe and long-term. Thanks for letting me know about the study. I will try to find a copy of it.

      Thank you. You are awesome too. Being good and kind must be your super powers. Good and healing thoughts to you.



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