Being Multiple

Okay usually this kind of tripe is something that I would normally ignore, but this time I won’t.

Being multiple is not a lifestyle choice.

No therapist indoctrinated me into believing I was multiple. No therapy made me multiple. For most multiples therapy is an essential part of our survival for years, often on a day to day and moment to moment basis as we attempt to work on healing from being sexually abused and violated when we were just little children and babies.

There are many bad therapists. There really are, but there are also great therapists. There was one case, that I know of, in which one therapist was sued for convincing some clients that they were all DID. That was more than fifteen years ago. It was not an epidemic. Perhaps there were some who were horribly violated and abused like this. I accept that therapist abuse occurs, though it is usually the sexual abuse of clients type of therapist abuse.

Although I have heard about this from people who deny child sexual abuse, I have not heard of another case that really happened, with real names, cases and lawsuits, just allegations that it happened. Perhaps it did, but anyone can say anything, proof is something else.

It is a fact that most multiples were sexually abused as children and that is why they are multiple. DID is real, whether it is in the DSM, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual or not. It is in the DSM.

It was always real and it will always be real, regardless of whether mental health professionals believe in it or not, whether it is in the DSM or not, whether society accepts and acknowledges the fact of child sexual abuse and it’s long term aftereffects or not, including whether anyone else believes in dissociative identity disorder or not.

Being multiple is not analogous to the kind of clothes I choose to wear or don’t, the types of sports I play or am a fan of or avoid, the kinds of movies I love and watch and the ones that I abhor and don’t watch, the hobbies that I am consumed by or avoid, the kinds of music I love and hate, the kinds of habits I continue to do or quit, or the quality of life I give myself or avoid.

I am a big proponent of the beliefs that we all have a right to our own beliefs and the right to voice them. Although I would defend someone’s right to their speech, I am still sickened by it. I won’t ever visit blogs like that, I am not inviting someone who believes that and writes that stuff to come here, and I won’t ever engage in a dialogue here with someone who believes that.

Being multiple is something that was done to me, not something I/we decided to do. There was a choice, the monster who masqueraded as a mother and a human being, she chose to sexually and physically abuse a baby. I, quite without conscious thought or will, broke into pieces. That was not a choice. That is psychological damage.

Being multiple is not a lifestyle choice.

21 thoughts on “Being Multiple

  1. I am surprised there are blogs against DID! I didn’t know that. We can’t help being DID any more than those people can help being ignorant and incensitive. DID is the result of survival – they’ve not been there.

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    • Hi Ivory,

      I am surpised as well. Though I wonder why. The idea that we don’t exist has been in the health care field, the mental health care field. the government in that they don’t recognize DID for determining disability status, and among the general public as well. I found a few posts through the tag surfer at wordpress.com. A few glances over them told me more than I ever wanted to know and that I would never visit.

      Kate

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  2. I’ve heard people just flat out deny that DID exists but I’ve not heard it called a lifestyle choice. I’m not even sure how to respond it’s so stupid. I’m totally at a loss for words and that is really hard to do. Do you know how stupid a person has to sound in order for me to be rendered speechless? You’ve got to take stupidity to a totally different level, one of professionalism, a PhD in it. I mean you’ve really got to master the craft of the stupid in order for me to not have a come back. His stupidity is clearly a life style choice. He’s like Sensei Stupid of his own Ignorant Dojo. I have no come back for this. I’m lost, I’ve got no more words.

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    • Okay, I was kind of speechless on what to say in reply as well. 🙂 Except yeah. A choice of lifestyle, how unfunctional do you have to be in order to choose to believe that? Oh well.

      Kate

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  3. Thanks for saying it so well Kate. I totally agree. I get it. I am mult because of severe abuse that was done to me. By those who were supposed to love and care for me. I will not have anyone no matter who they are invalidating me/us. I hate that shit! Will you email me?

    And tell me a few bits and pieces about wordpress? Like what the tag surfer is for, what linking pages is about etc.
    Thanks!

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    • Hi Carol anne,

      Yes I will try to answer a few questions, I don’t know everything, but I tell you what I know about a few features that I have figured out. I also think there is a tutorial at wordpress or a youtube tutorial that explains some stuff, I will try to find it again, and email a link to you, I know I watched one when I started.

      Kate

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  4. Absolutely outrageous. Regardless of whether or not people ‘believe’ in DID or not, they must surely recognise that the connection between the diagnosis and its symptoms is related to serious trauma. If they don’t…well, it says more about them than it ever will about people with dissociative symptoms.

    Very well said, Kate. Thank you.

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    • Hi,

      Thanks for your comment. I think that there are those who were diagnosed, who deny it, it’s causes, and it’s long-term aftereffects and the aftermath in symptoms of dissociation and multiplicity, and how long it takes to heal, let alone integrate, if that is what someone chooses to do. Frankly I am sad for them, as well as outraged about the beliefs espoused.

      There have been a few anti-DID or anti-client blogs out there that I have come across and it is difficult to see and I have learned through interactions, to keep what seems to me a healthy distance.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  5. Hi Kate,
    I have never seen blogs denying the reality of DID, but I’m sure the existt, as much as other bullcrap gets transmitted over the Internet via blogs. I knew I was multiple before I ever saw a therapist. The only therapist I’ve disclosed my multipliciity to (my current therapist), has been great with it and never says anything I say isn’t real about being multiple. I’d fire her if she did.

    As for DID being a lifestyle choice, where did you get that? I’ve never heard that nonsense either. Or do you mean like halthy multiples who claim they don’t have DID despite being multiple?

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    • Hi Astrid,

      I don’t mean people who are multiple who claim they were born that way. Although, I don’t believe that is possible and I have met multiples online who do in fact believe that, I don’t really talk about that here or anywhere.

      I read it on a post on Dissociative Identity Disorder through my wordpress tag surfer page. Someone wrote that DID was a “choice of lifestyle.” DID is not a lifestyle choice. I won’t put a link here, since I do not want to open a dialogue with this person. I wish them healing.

      I’m glad that you have a therapist that believes in you. That is important in healing. I knew I was multiple long before a diagnosis too. Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  6. Wow, Kate, that’s f-ed up. Not that people are writing that DID isn’t real, because I know that people want to deny child abuse and the worse the abuse is the more they want to deny it. What is f’ed up is that the government doesn’t think it’s a disability to have DID. This is clearly survivor discrimination. DID is a severe childhood injury. Does a person who has a spinal chord injury in childhood get disability help. I’m not in the US but I’m guessing yes. Baaastards!!

    It’s interesting though that they’re using the same phrase “lifestyle choice’ that they use to pretend that being gay isn’t a real thing. I wonder if it is the same type of people, although not enough to read their crap to find out.

    Good and healing thoughts to you,
    SDW

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    • Hi SDW,

      Yes well they try to explain it like it is scientific, my therapist at the time said to me, that there is not that much research on multiples and disability, some are very highly functional and work a lot hours, as though that means mentally healthy, which it doesn’t, and as though we work ourselves into the ground, which we will.

      I knew from other DID survivors who went through the disability process, it was like that, they don’t accept DID as a reason to get disability, but will accept Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. When I sent in my forms, I definitely used DID as a part of my diagnoses and when I got my paperwork back, it wasn’t on it. When I had the interview with the psychiatrist I brought it up and told him I put that on the form, but it is not there now.

      Yes it is like that, like a spinal cord injury. A shattered spine not unlike a shattered psyche.

      That struck me as well, lifestyle choice for a mental health issue, well I guess it makes a type of bizarre sense to those who want to believe, because it wasn’t that long ago that they were including homosexuality as a mental disorder. Totally screwy. If self-loathing people could choose, I feel certain that those overcome with homophobia would choose not to be. For me the issue is one of acceptance. Acceptance of ourselves most importantly and then others means we don’t need to label or reject or scapegoat or beat anyone else based on who they love.

      Good and healing thoughts to you.

      Kate

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  7. Pingback: The voices in my head speak Spanish « Small acts when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world." -Howard Zinn

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