Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse December 2014 Edition

Holiday Theme:

The theme for this month is holidays; good childhood memories and difficult childhood memories, coping and grounding and self-soothe and comfort skills from the past, what works now, and what skills you are working at doing, and creating new holiday traditions and other functional ways of getting through the holiday season and December.

Have Yourself a Happy Little Holiday

Aprel Phelps Downey from her blog Healing the Broken Parts One Word at a Time submitted this post. I will quote from her post:

“How on earth are we suppose to enjoy one moment of the holiday season with all of these feelings of anxiety, stress, panic and striving for perfectionism racing through our veins?

Start by taking a deep breath and remembering the word “boundaries.” We don’t have to do anything this holiday season that we don’t want to do.”

Throughout this post Aprel writes as though she were giving the best advice to a best friend. And it is great advice for the holiday season. Thanks so much Aprel!

Holidays Are a Time for Boundaries

Aprel Phelps Downey from her blog Healing the Broken Parts One Word at a Time submitted this post early in November on the holiday theme. It is such a great post I decided it should be included in both the November and December Blog Carnival Editions.

Memories of Holidays With My Family

Rainbow Gryphon shares extensively and with a high level of awareness and emotions of her experiences as a child and an adult at holiday times (Thanksgiving and Jewish holidays primarily), with dysfunctional family members and without. Great post that gave me a lot to think and feel about from reading this post. I include it in this month’s Blog Carnival as well as in last month’s Edition.

Holiday Traditions Old & New

I wanted to write a Christmas post specifically about making new Christmas holiday traditions while choosing what I wanted to keep from my childhood that I loved. I’ve been working hard on this all month. I hope you enjoy the post.

Ist Advent Sunday

For the first time ever I wanted to celebrate Advent and especially to try to celebrate each Advent Sunday in a way that was healing and fun, though I was doing it by myself.

2nd Advent Sunday

3rd Advent Sunday

4th Advent Sunday

I’ve also included links to three of my favorite resource pages on my blog, the three that I think relate the most to holidays, how to use grounding/coping skills, self-soothing/comforting skills, and how to manage your holiday coping better than before.

Holiday Coping

Grounding/Coping Skills


In addition I am including three links to Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Editions of the past that cover the holidays for another month.

November/December 2013 of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse (hosted at Kate is Rising)

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse November 2011 Surviving Holidays Edition (hosted at From Tracie)

Mini Carnival: Holiday Survival Tips for Survivors 2009 (hosted at Survivors Can Thrive)

Healing and Therapy:

Sheryl Burpee Dluginski from her blog Sheryl Burpee Dluginski submitted this post. I absolutely love! this post. Thanks so much Sheryl for the submission and the great post. Here is just a few of her wise words from the post:

“Some of us were raised in families whose particular brand of dysfunctions led us to adapt by being overly “good”, helpful and accommodating to others. Yes, it is possible to be too kind to others, when it ends up meaning you’re unkind to yourself.”

and again

“Personal growth doesn’t happen in a linear progression. It’s more like climbing a spiral staircase. You start at the bottom where you see a certain view of the space around you. Think of this view as your perspective on your world. With work, you take some steps up and notice that you’ve achieved a higher level of functioning. The view from here is different. You see the world from a new angle, and your new success motivates you to take some more steps, moving you toward more growth and another new perspective. “

Please take some time and read Sheryl’s excellent post and check out her blog.Thanks so much Sheryl. I really loved and enjoyed your post.

Healing is a Spiral Staircase

3rd Advent Sunday

I’m happy to say that I have been continuing my Advent Sunday celebrations and enjoying them.

Last Sunday I had decided to change things around a little bit. I chose to have a pizza party for one. I love pizza and since I don’t have it often and didn’t have it for several years due to gluten restrictions, I am glad that I found a great gluten free pizza that is good and affordable as well.

I had a great time. The usual stuff: music, a candle, the manger scene, some Christmas tv specials, the Christmas tree lit up, food I enjoy.

I had been slowly decorating my small apartment for the Christmas season. That always makes me/us very happy. It is amazing to me how much joy a few decorations can bring to me. I have decided like last year I am going to keep up my decorations for a while after the holiday. It brings me joy and I like that.

I think that everyone should feel free to do the little things that bring them joy all through the year and Christmas stuff is something that brings me joy. I know this is a hard thing for survivors of childhood abuse to figure out and to figure out how to do and how to be good to themselves. I think it is an essential part of life and healing to learn how to be good to yourself and to do good self-care.

I hope that you can do something that you enjoy this month and I hope you continue doing something good and happy for yourself in the coming new year. Good and healing thoughts to us all.

Healing Poems 141


When snow is shaken
From the balsam trees
And they’re cut down
And brought into our houses

When clustered sparks
Of many-colored fire
Appear at night
In ordinary windows

We hear and sing
The customary carols

They bring us ragged miracles
And hay and candles
And flowering weeds of poetry
That are loved all the more
Because they are so common

But there are carols
That carry phrases
Of the haunting music
Of the other world
A music wild and dangerous
As a prophet’s message

Or the fresh truth of children
Who though they come to us
From our own bodies

Are altogether new
With their small limbs
And birdlike voices

They look at us
With their clear eyes
And ask the piercing questions
God alone can answer.

~  Anne Porter

Healing with Humor Littles 36

When should you feed reindeer milk to a baby?




When it’s a baby reindeer!

Healing Quotes, Christmas 21


“Blast this Christmas music.! It’s joyous and triumphant.”

~ The Grinch, How the Grinch Stole Christmas
“I’ve got an idea. Let’s come up with a bunch of new holiday traditions, you know, to bury the sadness.”
~ Astrid, Gift of the Night Fury, (How to Train Your Dragon
holiday special)
“The Little Drummer Boy” was playing in the background for what seemed like the third time in a row. I fought off an urge to beat that Little Drummer Boy senseless with his own drumsticks.”
~ Dana Reinhardt, How to Build a House
“Listen, I know what it’s like to miss someone you love this time of year, but what do we do when they can’t be here for the holiday? We celebrate them.”
~ Stoic the Vast, Gift of the Night Fury (How to Train Your Dragon holiday special)

“They err who thinks Santa Claus comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart.”

~ Mrs. Paul M. Ell


Christmas Quotes

Winter Solstice Ideas

Here are some winter solstice ideas that I liked a lot:

Decorate homespace with found items of nature.

Setting an intention for celebration.

Watch the first winter sunset.

Solstice lanterns.

Use candles to light your home.

Set intentions for the upcoming year.

Bell ringing ceremony.

Fire releasing ceremony.

I’ve done a fire releasing ceremony in the past. It was tremendously healing and focusing. We wrote down everything that we wanted to release and heal from and then the rolled up list was burned, outside. I would like to do that again, perhaps at the new year, if it is possible.

For my celebration of Solstice this Sunday I am going to have candles, though artificial ones, do a short bell ringing ceremony, with my favorite crystal bell, and set intention for the coming new year.

A short explanation of my intention for the new year is homespace and what that entails, inner reality space, my living space, and the reality of myself that I take with me wherever I go, accepting myself and my life and the things that I am and that I love and do, so that I take my self-love and self-acceptance with me wherever I go. I’ve been working on several of these issues for some time this year, so this will be exciting because I see that I have done a huge amount of healing and progress in these areas and I’m really and seriously looking forward to my healing path in 2015.

I’m sure that I’ll be writing more about that in the near future.

Healing with Humor Littles 35

What’s another name for Santa’s helpers?




Subordinate clauses.