I Am A Survivor.

I am a child abuse survivor. I am proud of it. I survived. I am no longer being violated and victimized sexually and that is saying a very very big thing.

While I understand and value the differing beliefs of others, I see the title as survivor as something that I deserve. I have worked long and hard to be able to be proud of myself and the difficult healing work that I have done and continue to do in my life. I am proud of surviving.

 Though some may see the label and choosing to self-identify as a survivor, (a sexual abuse survivor), and a full-time healer as limiting, victimhood, and an example of my lack of potential, I choose to disagree. I know one thing for sure, you are not looking at this topic through my eyes.

I’m not limited by my chosen label. I am limited by my abuse history, it’s aftereffects, and the physical damage that has been exacted upon my body.

I am a survivor. It is not a limiting label. It is saying something huge about my soul and my humanity and my potential for growth and healing.

I am not a survivor from a reality show. I wasn’t coerced into eating bugs and worms. I didn’t sign a legal agreement. I was an infant and a toddler at the mercy of my female parent.

I want to tell you a little bit about myself in just the first three years of my life. I am a survivor of sustained, prolonged, and cruel torture, physical abuse, deprivation, starvation, emotional abuse and sexual abuse by my mother. She was not the only abuser in my life, but she was the first.

I am a survivor of mother-daughter sexual abuse. And believe me that took every skill that I had within my little body and my little mind to sustain me, keep me alive, and to find a safe haven in a house of torture. I survived her.

I survived what grown men with adult minds and military training may not be able to survive. I survived my mother. It is not the only thing about me, but it is the most important thing anyone can say about me. And I’m proud of it.

I am a survivor.