Survivor.
March 24, 2009 at 7:19 am 12 comments
Kate1975′s Blog
I’ll start this out by telling you a story about my life. About twenty years ago I was feeling bad about who I was and how I had ended up where I was. It was a common feeling any specific day at that time in my life, what with being a survivor and being underneath a load of flashbacks, post traumatic stress, and chronic pain issues.
I was in a sexual abuse survivor group at the time. I had a survivor friend from the group who talked to me and who often gave it to me straight. I really needed to get the words of wisdom back in the day, rather than giving them.
I told her, in my best remembrance of Marlon Brando, I could have been somebody. I could have been all kinds of things instead of what I am, which is a survivor.
She looked me straight in the eye and said, You are! You already are somebody.
I used to repeat that over and over. Some days I even believed it. Some days I do believe it now.
Let me say it to you now:
You are. You are somebody.
Entry filed under: abuse, kate1975, kate1975's Blog. Tags: abuse survivor, child sexual abuse, healing, kate 1975's Blog, kate1975, self-esteem.
1.
Ivory | May 17, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Hey Kate! I’ve made it back to read up on your posts! I am enchanted, so far. You and your friend sound like my T. It’s too bad that for us, it takes so little time to emotionally program in the bad and much longer than that to get it all back to good stuff.
hugs
Ivory
2.
kate1975 | May 17, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Hi Ivory,
My friend was as smart as any therapist I have ever seen or read. She looked at me as someone worthy of love, repect, and healing. It was a transformational experience knowing her. So much of what I now think and now were started in my life by knowing her and having her as my friend.
I think that emotional programming is very powerful and it can take root quickly and effectively. However as one therapist said to someone I know, this stuff took years and years to cause this level of harm, it would be normal to expect that it would take as long to heal from. I guess I’m at the point in my life where I agree with that.
I’m glad that you have a good and supportive therapist. I think that makes/helps at least half the issues less difficult to tackle. Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
3.
vickiinaz | August 20, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Kate,
Thanks for the advice to go back to the beginning. This is a beautiful way to begin.
I know this is right. We are somebody. What a profound truth.
Thank you for your kind generous support.
♥
Vicki
4.
kate1975 | August 21, 2009 at 12:32 am
Hi Vicky,
There is no one else in the world that I feel as strong of a connection to as survivors of any type of mother abuse. Please know that you are in my heart and I will be thinking of you often.
As well please feel free to email me any time about every day life things, if you want, as that is a part of life and healing. There is no need to come up with a perfect topic or email to contact me with, if you should ever want to. Take care.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
5.
Meg | May 20, 2011 at 10:40 pm
“…I could have been somebody. I could have been all kinds of things instead of what I am, which is a survivor.” Wow – I know exactly what you mean. I tell this to my husband all the time, and it hurts so much to think about what I missed out on because I was too busy surviving. Thanks for sharing your friend’s wise words!
6.
kate1975 | May 20, 2011 at 10:53 pm
I’m sorry that you understand the feeling. I suspect that a lot of survivors can and do relate. I’m so proud to say that believe my friend, I am somebody. You are too.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
7.
patriciacsingleton | May 23, 2011 at 10:49 pm
Just this week a friend complained that too much of the stuff that I post on my Facebook page is a downer. He asked if I thought that I might not be as serious as I am if it wasn’t for the incest. I told him that since I am a Sagitarian, I probably would have been less serious, more adventurous and off traveling more since that is what Sagitarians are supposed to be like. I do love to travel but I have to think about being spontaneous and adventurous for a while first.
8.
kate1975 | May 23, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Hi Patricia,
I think since I wrote this post, two years ago, things have changed and healed a lot more. I was so far away from where I am all those years ago when my friend gave me the good advice.
I am becoming more of who I am meant to be. It is a kind of being that I can live with.
Not sure who I would have been, I get glimpses of it, but I’m not that person and I’ll never be that person. Speaking of astrology, I am a Taurus, and I am a Taurus through and through. I think that made everything in my childhood so much easier to deal with, being strong and steadfast.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
9.
marjakathriver | June 10, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Ah! So true! Thanks for this powerful message.
10.
kate1975 | June 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Hi Marj,
Thank you for reading. Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
11.
vickiinaz | June 12, 2011 at 9:52 pm
As always my friend, powerful. YOU are enough.
12.
kate1975 | June 12, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Hi Vicki,
Thank you dear heart. Good and healing thoughts to you and your fam.
Kate