Healing Quotes Teens 381

“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.”

~ Rumi

Apparently I’m Looking Kind of Pretty Today

Well, that’s the compliment I got at the library this afternoon. I am proud that I reminded myself my own advice on  accepting compliments and to breathe in and breathe out, to say thank you, and to accept the compliment as graciously as possible.

I told the guy thank you, gave him a smile and a sort of laugh, because the compliment did make me laugh. It was a challenge to not argue about whether or not I was “looking kind of pretty,” or not. It seemed like he was trying to hit on me and I was not interested in him as a potential date. So I decided not to engage him in a conversation.

He then asked me what my name was. Since I had no interest in this particular guy I told him straight out, “no I’m not interested.” He took it politely and then said goodbye and walked away.

In the past I would have thought I had to explain in detail that I was not interested in dating, in dating anyone, etc, but seriously I stopped myself. I do not have to explain my nos. I do not have to explain why or how I am not interested in a guy, any guy, or any other thing about my life. This is a hard boundary for me, but I have a right to say no and to not have to explain my life and my choices to anyone.

The creep factor was that he had followed me into the book stacks in the graphic novel section less than a minute after I got into that aisle and then looked like he was looking at the stacks instead of following on purpose to talk to me. That got a creep factor of seven out of ten. After all we were at the library, not a bar or other entertainment venue, where watching females, following them, and approaching them would be entirely normal.

It would have felt more acceptable to me if he had approached me a few minutes earlier when I was sitting at a table in the open section, near the computers. Or when I was looking at the book stacks that directly faced the open computer section, where over thirty other patrons could have been in my line of sight.

I’m pretty creeped out at what guys consider normal and acceptable behavior in public towards women. However, there were a lot of other patrons and staff as well as the library being staffed with several security guards, so I felt safe.

I have had guys in the past try to talk to me at the downtown library and since none of them have been someone that I was interested in, I have decided to set a boundary by saying no.

In the past I have tried to have conversations, perhaps exploring a possibility of friendship with guys like this, but if someone wants something else, it never never works out for me, so I don’t do that at all anymore.

I like having friends. I really do. But I accept that I can’t make someone want me as a friend or be friendship material. I cannot make someone be something they do not want to be and I accept that. I deserve great friends. Not guys who want to have sex with me, those are not friends. I have a right to say yes or no, and I said no.

Healing Quotes Teens 380

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind”
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~ C.S. Lewis

Two Good Errand Days

A couple of weeks ago I had accumulated quite a few errands and was fortunate enough to be feeling well enough to try to fit them all into two days of errand working. One day I visited five places and another day six. One visit was to my chiropractor and two of the visits were to libraries. I was very satisfied to see that both days went well.

The nicest part, though, was later when it was all over and done; and I realized that I had been into eleven different businesses, some of them libraries, and did not have a single bad incident.Wow!

Last week I had two very difficult incidents in public, but I don’t know what I did different, just that there were jerks in public and they decided to make asses of themselves. I cannot fathom making fun of someone else while in public or mistreating them just for kicks or trying to stigmitize them because of your own narrow mind and prejudices , but it sure happens. I am happy to say that doing so is mind blogging to me.

Today I went to six different places and they all went well. That is nice. I like when that happens.